Romantic of me :)

Dearest my only AA,
When I realized that my addiction to that hunk was cured, I didn't know where my passionate love for him was gone. I didn't find him anymore on my mind, in my heart, moreover in the blood flowing all over my body (I used to say "engkau ada dalam darah yang mengalir di sekujur tubuhku" => gombal banget yah? LOL. But when I wrote it, I meant it.) Rasanya memang begitulah.
He was stuck on my eyes so I saw him for the first time when I opened my eyes in the morning; he was also the last one I saw before I closed my eyes in the night. He was on my mind so that whenever and wherever I found something interesting, I always related it to him. He was on my tongue coz anytime I mentioned his name when I felt like I wanted to talk to someone. He was in the blood flowing all over my body coz I could feel his touch all over my body anytime I wanted it. Wow ... LOL.
And when I realized that he was no longer a part of my life (not always on my eyes, mind, tongue, ad blood anymore) I asked myself whether I really fell in love with him. :( What is love anyway? His position on my mind has been peacefully replaced by someone else => YOU.
Have I fallen in love with you?
When relating it to my relationship with that Californian, I draw a conclusion of what is called love. When I think I hurt the one I love, I myselffeel hurt. (Once I tried to hurt him coz I felt hurt by my dream about him, I hurt myself even more. :( I experienced the same thing to that hunk. When I felt I hurt him unconciously, I really felt hurt too.
I didn't love A's dad coz I realized when I did hurt him, I didn't regret it, I even felt satisfied. => cruel of me, huh?
(is a Leonese revengeful, do you think?)
CONCLUSION: Love is when you feel hurt coz the one you love is hurt (coz of something you do to him/her).
LL 15.18 090906