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Monday, July 31, 2006

My Last Weekend

 


Last Saturday I went to my workplace around 10-12. I didn’t do a lot of things there. The internet was not accessible so I just continued reading the book that recently is always in my bag—KAJIAN BUDAYA FEMINIS by Aquarini Priyatna. I also scribbled some pages in my “portable diary”. 


After leaving the workplace, I dropped by at a restaurant to have lunch by myself. I enjoyed my meal while reading some pages of the book—KBF. But then, I put it aside and started to look around. In front of me, there were a man and a woman having lunch together. Next to me were a family of four—two daughters and the parents. My attention was to the couple in front of me again. They didn’t look intimate; however, they quite enjoyed the chat between them. 


Once in a while I continued reading the book and scribbling in my diary. 


10 minutes before 2pm, I went to my other workplace. I had a class from 2-4pm. 


After teaching, I planned to drop by at a cyber café. So addicted am I to this internet technology that I sometimes feel like to be about to meet my soul mate when going online. LOL. I was a bit nervous, and expecting to find surprising messages or comments in my blogs. LOL. 


I didn’t get new comments in my blogs. However, from the statistics, my blog had been viewed by 30 people on that day. Hmm … it made me feel like that I am quite a popular blogger. LOL. Sometimes, I find my page viewed more than a hundred times a day. Wow … I have got some loyal readers, huh? LOL. 


I was not in a good mood to view my friends’ post though at that time, so I didn’t read any post. I read some messages I got from some mailing lists I join. I also got a personal email from one good friend staying in the US now to pursue her Master’s degree. She just arrived there for some weeks and she told me that she was suffering from cultural shock now. I was very sorry to hear that, but still I thought that she was very lucky to get that scholarship. 


At 6pm I already felt uncomfortable. Angie must have been waiting for me. I lingered for some more minutes to read more messages from the mailing lists. 


Arriving home, Angie was watching television. When finding that I was just back from the cyber café, she complained. However, when I offered to take her to the cyber café, she refused. Then, I offered her to buy some ice cream in the nearest supermarket. She agreed.
We went there by wearing our shorts and t-shirt. After not wearing shorts for some years to go shopping (I wear shorts only to go swimming or doing aerobics in the fitness center), in fact, I want to wear shorts again. LOL. 


The supermarket was very crowded. After we bought two ice cream cones, Angie and I went to the third floor, just to take a look to the people around. On the third floor, there are some facilities provided for children to play games. Ah, it reminded me of Angie’s time when she was under seven years old; I once in a while took her to such game center and saw her enjoy driving the toy car, riding the toy motorcycle or the toy train, enjoying herself jumping in a “pool” full of balls, etc. 


After that, I offered Angie to have dinner in the food court there, and she agreed. As usual, one thing I always enjoy while we eat out is that Angie’s telling me her experience at school. Seeing her bright-eyed while talking to me and enjoying her meal will always be my favorite time. 


At 8.30pm we went downstairs to do some shopping. We arrived home around 09.30pm


PT56 20.40 300706

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Are You Chinese?

I just got some messages from someone via my friendster. The main point is that he wanted to know me more. Well, I told him (via message via friendster) to read my profile completely at FS, (I wrote my real ID there), from the location where I live now, my marital status, hobbies, education, bla bla bla ... I also told him to read my blog at FS to know me more. Mainly is that I am a feminist, a romantic, sometimes foolishly loyal when in love with someone--someone that can successfully steal my heart must be someone amazing!!! LOL, bla bla bla ... I am also a mother of my only daughter, and both of us have an intimate relationship, spend much time together--sometimes browsing in bookstores, hanging out in malls, going online at a cyber cafe, travelling, bla bla bla ...
Realizing that I am also online at the same time with him--coz I now and again replied his messages--he asked my YM ID. I told him. Well, I must have been in a good mood coz I am rarely willing to have a chat with a stranger via YM. Perhaps also coz I wanted to show my appreciation coz he showed his interest to me by sending me some messages via FS.
FYI, I often get nasty messages via FS, such as "Hey pretty, have a date with me will ya?" To stop that, in my profile, I filled the "Shout out box" saying, "If you wanna know me better, read my blog!" I hope that people will not mistakenly judge me as someone 'looking for a one night stand affair'.
I suppse that guy didn't really read my profile and blog well when then he asked my YM ID.
Shortly, then we had a chat via YM. He asked me whether I was a Chinese coz he was a Chinese. I was wondering whether in my pictures at FS I looked like Chinese? My father did look like Chinese, yes, but I am far cry from it. LOL. I tried to avoid answering that racial question, but he insisted. So, I told him that my parents are from Gorontalo, not from Manado where many people look like Chinese there. After he asked me whether I was Chinese the second time, I replied, "I am not Chinese." Then, I asked him back, "Are you looking for Chinese friends only?" He didn't reply. He only directly went offline after asking for my permission, "Sorry, gtg now. I have something to do."
Ups ...
I don't mind anyway. In fact, I don't care. LOL.
I make friend with anybody, Chinese, Javanese, foreigners, anybody. Also with any religion.
Well ... well ... well ...
In this twenty first century we still can find people like that, eh, that value people only from the skin?

Friday, July 28, 2006

Friday, July 28, 2006

In a cyber cafe.



 

I have been online for some hours, to check my mailboxes, to read some messages from mailing lists, to send some emails, to send some e-cards, to check my blogs, to post some writings in my blogs, (uff ... I have some blogs!!! LOL). I also had a chat.


I "found" a guy that some months ago,out of the blue, told me that he fell in love with me. He told me a story that made me pitiful to him. When this guy told me the similar story (four years ago, his girlfriend left him, ahe had sex with his own good friend, got pregnant, then they got married. Oh how pitiful ... LOL.)


When he told me that he is from Solo, directly I thought that he was the same guy. One obvious 'sign' is his English is quite good, and he is quite mature to talk with me, a mature woman too. I seldom find a guy who is quite fun to have a chat with. Young guys (less than thirty) are just a bore for me. LOL. (Ups ... except that 'loved one' of mine. LOL.)


Oh well, I have to be in a hurry to go to my workplace now.


Ciao.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Wednesday, July 26, 2006


 

I am at the office. My watch shows 13.40 at the moment.


I don't have any teaching schedule today. Well, the main thing why I go to my workplace is, of course, I get paid to go to the office. LOL. As to my knowing, perhaps I am wrong, other universities don't oblige their lecturers to come to the office everyday. There are three main duties done by a lecturer. The first, is, teaching. Second, doing scientific researches. Third, dedicating to public. As long as we do those three main duties, coming to the office everyday is no longer important. However, in my workplace, I assume, that it is not really important to do those three duties. The main point is coming to the office everyday. Whether you come to class when there is a teaching schedule or not is not really important. Sounds ridiculous, do you think? :)


I really don't mind coming to the office everyday, though. The main reason is that I am lucky enough to live not far from my workplace. My dwelling place is located around 2 kms from the office, only around 5 minutes by motorcycle. Yup, I go to the office, and also to other places, by motorcycle. Cars are very luxurious for me coz I cannot afford to buy one yet. LOL.


Fortunately some students want to see me for having consultation for their papers today. I promised them to come at 11.00. I have done my job. 


Ah yeah, another main reason why I really don't mind going to the office is that I can access internet for free, though sometimes the access is very slow. (Going online for free? Means slow here. LOL.) I always feel that I need to check my mailboxes and blogs everyday, to read some messages I get in my mailboxes and comments on my blogs. The fact that the CPU at the office is full of virused and it often breaks my floppy disk makes me go to the cyber cafe once in a while, or sometimes daily, LOL, when I want to send emails to friends or to post new writings in my blogs. I often write for my blogs using the computer at home, to save time. :) However, this time, I have some spare time to directly type in this blog of mine. :) Besides, the topic is not that difficult, just talk about my daily activity.


Aha it reminds me of one chat I had with someone close to me, more than a year ago. When I told him that I write a diary, he sounded surprised knowing that. When I asked him whether he also wrote diary, he said he didn't. "I don't know what to write," that was his reason. LOL. I responded, "Well, it's easy to write diary. Just write my daily experience, my daily thought, and also my daily feeling." He continued, "Do you write about us too?" LOL. Well ... the story about this chat ended here. LOL. 


I have been trying to open my mailboxes for some time. However, the access seems broken. I don't know whether it is caused by the slow access of the server of the internet in my workplace, or coz of the access of yahoo is disrupted. Instead, I opened this blog, and then write something here. Oh well, once a student criticized me, "You don't write Ma'am. You type." LOL. 


Right now I want to reply an email I get from a new friend of mine, coming from Senegal. She "found" me from my blog at http://afemaleguest.blog.co.uk 


Ciao.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Amazing

He with his amazing influence in me.
Easily he ruined my mood,
ruined my days.
Easily he cured it;
made me wanna fly to the high blue sky.

Loved one,
Don't ever leave my boring life.
Don't ever ask me to go away.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Monday, July 24, 2006

I am restless.
I have been restless since last Saturday evening when I found his offline messages. I have tried to forget it but I couldn't.
I have prepared an email to send to his mailbox. However, when I was trying to send it just now, the disk was unreadable. :( It made me more restless.
I also lost my mood to do aerobics this morning coz remembering his offline messages. :( I just did some static cycling instead for about 30 minutes.
I am disheartened. Really. Cannot think of any other thing at the moment. And it's all coz of my own mistake, my being selfish to get his attention.
Wish I could apologize to him directly, not just via messages.
No idea what to do comfort myself.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Friday, July 21, 2006

You're My Inspiration


 

You know our love was meant to be
The kind of love that lasts forever
And I need you here with me
From tonight until the end of time

You should know, everywhere I go
You're always on my mind, in my heart
In my soul

You're the meaning in my life
You're the inspiration
You bring feeling to my life
You're the inspiration
Wanna have you near me
I wanna have you hear me sayin'
No one needs you more than I need you

And I know, yes I know that it's plain to see
We're so in love when we're together
And I know that I need you here with me
From tonight until the end of time

You should know, everywhere I go
Always on my mind, in my heart
In my soul

When you love somebody
Till the end of time
When you love somebody
Always on my mind
No one needs you more than I need you

P.S: A song by Chicago, well, the lyric is just really suitable for my mood this time. Since a year ago, I just realized how someone can really be someone else's inspiration. Someone has become my inspiration to write anything. It also has triggered my to be a quite productive blogger. And as the lyric said, "He is always on my mind, in my heart, in my soul." And sometimes I told him, "You are also in the flowing blood inside my body." LOL.

Wow ... wow ... wow ... LOL.
He is really a WOW for me!!! LOL.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Hidup

Hidup adalah misteri
yang penuh dengan ketidakpastian
Kadang ketidakpastian ini membuat
kita bergairah menghadapi masa depan
Namun terkadang juga
membuat kita pesimis

Saat ini
Aku merasakan kedua hal tersebut
ketidakpastian di masa depan
membuatku pesimis
namun juga penuh harap-harap cemas
akankah mimpi-mimpi indahku menjadi nyata?

Friday, July 14, 2006

Bayanganmu

Ada bayanganmu di mataku
Dan senyummu membuatku rindu.
... ... ...


Saat ini aku sedang berada di warnet tempatku biasa mangkal. Beberapa saat yang lalu, ada seorang cowo keren duduk di booth depanku. Dia setinggi Lelaki Terindahku, kupikir, yang langsung membuatku kangen dia. :( (Kapan juga aku ga kangen dia???) Aku hampir saja berpikir bahwa itu dia (kayak gak ada cowo keren lain selain kekasihku itu, LOL.) Dia pake kemeja hijau, yang juga mengingatkanku pada satu warna kemeja yang dia pakai ketika kita makan siang di Waroeng Steak. Waduh ... Tapi, setelah aku ngeliat wajahnya sedikit, ah, tuh cowo pake kacamata, sedangkan kekasihku tidak memakai kacamata. Hmm ... :) Toh, aku sempet berpikir juga jangan-jangan sekarang dia pake kacamata? wah ... LOL.

Beberapa saat setelah dia duduk di booth di depanku, aku dengar suara handphonenya bunyi, dan dia berbicara dengan suara yang lumayan keras juga. Ah ... bukan suara kekasihku. hehehehe ...

Itulah sebabnya aku jadi pengen nulis di sini. Dan sebelum memulai nulis, aku ingat lagu yang dipopulerkan 2D di penghujung tahun 1980-an.

Ada bayanganmu di mataku ...
Dan senyummu membuatku rindu ...


Hmm ... di salah satu email yang kukirim ke dia beberapa bulan lalu, aku juga sempet nyitir kalimat dari lagu Survivor, "I see you in everyone ..." hahaha ...

Oh cinta ... cinta ...
Membuatku gila ...
hahahahaha ...
(When will I wake up from this illusive-world?)
Hmmm ....

Gibran Said

FYI, I usually don't really like Gibran. However, the following quotes are quite cool. :-D

Friendship:
You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.

Overcoming Failure:
A shy failure is nobler than an immodest success.

Love:
And think not you can guide the course of love. For love, if it finds you worthy, shall guide your course.

Love:
If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were.

Success:
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.

Life:
Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit.

Love:
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; for love is sufficient unto love.

Insight:
Progress lies not in enhancing what is, but in advancing toward what will be.

Optimism:
The optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose.

Life:
Work is love made visible. And if you cannot work with love buy only with distaste it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take aims of those who work with joy.


Success:

Work is love made visible. And if you can't work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take alms of the people who work with joy.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

I write ...

Robuchon, May 2011

 

“I write coz I am angry.” (Aquarini Priyatna – a feminist writer from Indonesia)

“I write coz I have a purpose to make women realize their equal rights with men.” (Charlotte Perkins Gilman – a feminist writer from America with her most anthologized short story entitled The Yellow Wallpaper)

I write coz I want to share my anxiety to other people, the anxiety that bothers my mind to see and experience the unfair treatment women get (using my feminist perspective) in this patriarchal society. (Nana Podungge – a feminist from Indonesia)

I agree with Gilman that everybody mostly writes coz he/she has a purpose, and the purpose is very various, different from one person to another. However, I am of opinion that my idea is also general, people write to share their anxiety to other people, people write to make people listen and hear what they say.

“Why don’t you just stop shouting there and start doing something in real to make the betterment of your folks—women? Don’t just talk. ACT!”

Some people criticized me like that. 

There are many people who have done that—those who join non-governmental organizations for women (and children), such as LBH APIK, LRC KJHAM (in Semarang), Koalisi Perempuan, etc, there are abundant of them in many cities. Some of them write about their experiences in journals, newspapers, also in a form of book, to “announce” the unfairness, the discrimination, etc. however, not all people are exposed to those kinds of journals and books, coz of the expensive price. 

December 2012


 

I write sometimes based on my own experience, friends’ experience, and also from other women’s experience that I read in those books/journals/tabloids/newspapers. I expect that my writing will reach wider audience (besides, I also “preach” to my students in my workplaces), to make more people realize that patriarchal culture often oppresses women—though not all women realize that. The more people know about this, the better. Hopefully the world which is more friendly to women will be realized soon.

 
PT56 06.33 110706

Monday, July 10, 2006

Kajian Budaya Feminis

Aku sedang membaca buku yang berjudul KAJIAN BUDAYA FEMINIS, tulisan Aquarini Priyatna Prabasmoro. Topik yang akan kubahas kali ini adalah pengaruh budaya Jawa—terutama Bahasa Jawa dalam pengukuhan budaya patriarki.
Aquarini adalah seorang perempuan Sunda yang menikahi seorang lelaki Jawa. Di awal pernikahan mereka, suaminya kadang-kadang berbicara dengan menggunakan bahasa Jawa, dan menyebutnya “kowe”. Ketika Aquarini ikut-ikutan menyebut suaminya dengan sebutan “kowe”, saudara suaminya yang mendengarnya, tergopoh-gopoh mendekati Aquarini dan melarangnya menggunakan istilah yang sama. Sang suami boleh menggunakan istilah tersebut, namun sang istri tidak boleh karena itu berarti Aquarini tidak menghormati suaminya yang dalam budaya Jawa memiliki posisi lebih tinggi daripada sang istri yang seorang perempuan.
Sebagai seorang feminis, tentu saja Aquarini tidak menyukai hal tersebut karena berbicara dalam bahasa Jawa membuat Aquarini harus memposisikan dirinya lebih rendah dari pada sang suami. Akhirnya Aquarini membuat kesepakatan dengan sang suami untuk tidak lagi berkomunikasi menggunakan bahasa Jawa.
Membaca hal ini mengingatkanku pada pengalamanku sendiri, terutama dalam pernikahanku yang pertama dengan ayah anakku, Angie.
Meskipun aku tidak memiliki darah Jawa karena kedua orang tuaku berasal dari Gorontalo, aku tidak bisa memungkiri bahwa aku dibesarkan dalam lingkungan orang Jawa, dengan budaya Jawa. Hal tersebut membentukku untuk memposisikan diri lebih rendah dari suami without reserve. Misalnya aku memanggilnya dengan sebutan ‘mas’ untuk menghormatinya, juga tidak pernah aku menyebutnya ‘kowe’ (sebagai ganti, aku selalu menyebut namanya, dan aku menyebut namaku dan tidak menggunakan istilah ‘aku’); sementara dia bebas saja memanggilku hanya namaku dan menggunakan istilah ‘kowe’ kepadaku.
Setelah bercerai di tahun 2000, dan terluka karena akhirnya harus kuakhiri semua ‘perjuanganku’ untuk bertahan dalam perkawinan itu, aku tak lagi memanggilnya ‘mas’ ketika berinteraksi. Aku juga menyebutnya ‘kowe’ dan aku masih ingat betapa kaget ekspresi wajahnya ketika pertama kali aku melakukannya. Aku ‘belum’ menjadi seorang feminis waktu itu, namun aku ‘telah mengenali’ suatu keinginan dalam hati bahwa aku menginginkan kesetaraan antara laki-laki dan perempuan. Mungkin bagi banyak orang ini adalah hal sepele, namun bagiku (dan juga bagi Aquarini) merupakan salah satu bentuk arogansi budaya patriarki kepada kaum perempuan.
Ah, hal ini mengingatkanku akan salah satu pertanyaan yang disebutkan Aquarini dalam bukunya. “mengapa kaum feminis meributkan hal-hal yang sudah established dari sononya, dimana sebagian besar dari hal tersebut hanyalah merupakan masalah sepele?” aku pun sering mendapatkan pertanyaan yang sama dari orang-orang di sekitarku, juga dari komentar-komentar yang masuk ke blogku (terutama dari para komentator yang berasal dari Indonesia maupun Malaysia dan Singapore.) Pertanyaan yang sering melukaiku karena betapa banyak orang-orang yang hanya take it for granted atas segala hal yang terjadi sehingga menganggap orang-orang feminis sebagai kumpulan orang-orang yang aneh.
“Can’t you just be an ordinary wife because I am just an ordinary husband?” (hal. 30)
Pertanyaan ini terlontar dari mulut suami Aquarini tatkala dia lelah berdiskusi tentang segala hal dengan Aquarini. Pertanyaan yang membuat Aquarini melongo. Dan aku pun melongo tatkala membaca pertanyaan tersebit keluar dalam buku KAJIAN BUDAYA FEMINIS ini karena pertanyaan yang sama persis pernah ditanyakan oleh ayah Angie setelah aku membentuk diri menjadi seorang feminis. Ketika kita menikah lagi di tahun 2002, aku masih seorang konvensional yang percaya bahwa aku bisa menjadi seorang superwoman (hasil bentukan orde barunya Soeharto!), berhasil dalam karier namun juga merupakan seorang istri dan ibu yang baik, yang tak pernah sekalipun melupakan tugas-tugas rumah tangga, dan jangan lupa, TETAP MEMPOSISIKAN DIRI LEBIH RENDAH DARI SUAMI (meskipun aku tidak lagi menyebutnya ‘mas’, dan juga menyebutnya ‘kowe’).
Ayah Angie tak lagi mengenaliku dengan identitas baruku—seorang feminis—dengan cara berpikir yang kontradiktif dari aku yang dulu (ditambah lagi seorang sekuler!). Atau mungkin dia masih memimpikan aku untuk kembali menjadi seorang istri yang dia kenali dalam perkawinan kita yang pertama.
Kamu percaya kah kalau kita terbentuk menjadi kita sekarang ini dikarenakan our upbringing, juga pengalaman-pengalaman yang telah kita lalui dalam hidup ini, sehingga merupakan suatu kemustahilan jika kita akan kembali menjadi kita di masa lalu?
Aku baru membaca buku KAJIAN BUDAYA FEMINIS ini sampai hal 34 dari keseluruhan buku yang terdiri dari 461. buku ini kubeli hari Kamis 6 Juli 2006. aku selalu membutuhkan waktu lama untuk menyelesaikan membaca sebuah buku. Bukan karena kesibukanku, namun lebih karena kadang aku terlalu begitu hanyut kedalamnya, sehingga, kadang baru membaca satu paragraf atau kadang satu halaman, hal ini bisa membuatku merenung sampai berjam-jam setelahnya, yang tentu saja membuatku berhenti membaca paragraf/halaman berikutnya.
To be continued. (maybe ... LOL.)
PT56 00.27 100706

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Sabtu, 8 Juli 2006

Di kantor. Aku sampai sekitar jam 07.45 Waktu Unaki. LOL.
Sesampai di kantorku yang terletak di lantai 10, aku langsung menyalakan AC, lampu, dan komputer. Well, sinar matahari bisa langsung masuk ke kantorku ini sih, tapi aku selalu menyalakan lampu.
Untunglah sepagi ini internet sudah terkoneksi karena kadang-kadang tidak, dan aku harus nunggu sampai sekitar jam 09.00. Aku langsung ngecek email dan blog. Blogku yang di http://afemaleguest.blog.co.uk kemarin dibuka sekitar 145 orang, dan pageview-nya sampai 415!!! Wah ... rekor tertinggi semenjak aku masuk jadi anggota di blog ini!
Barusan aku membaca satu artikel yang sangat 'mengerikan' di salah satu blog, tentang breast-ironing. Praktek "penyetrikaan payudara" ini banyak terjadi di beberapa daerah di Afrika dengan alasan untuk menghindari perkosaan. Dikhawatirkan kalau memiliki payudara yang besar dan indah akan 'memprovokasi' laki-laki untuk memperkosanya. Aduh Gusti ... mengapa hal ini bisa terjadi???
Aku akan copy artikel itu di blog ku, agar semakin banyak orang yang membacanya!!! Juga akan kuposting di mailing list yang kuikuti.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Jumat, 7 Juli 2006

Di kantor.
Sendirian. Biasa. Rekan kerja yang lain mengais rejeki di tempat yang lain. LOL. Kebetulan saja aku satu-satunya yang teradiksi internet dan blog di kantorku. So? Ya aku juga yang satu-satunya paling rajin nongkrong di kantor karena bisa akses internet gratis. Yah, meskipun kadang aksesnya lelet, LOL, kadang terjadi error semena-mena dan menghilangkan artikel yang sedang kuketik di blog. Toh, aku tetap cinta kantorku ini. Dan aku tidak perlu merasa besar kepala seandainya mendapatkan gelar "The Most Diligent Employee of the Year." LOL. Aku di sini karena ada akses internet gratis, dan kebetulan sedang tidak banyak sabetan di luar. LOL.
Sejak nongkrong di depan komputer ini kurang lebih 3 jam yang lalu, aku telah mengakses blogku, memberi komentar ke beberapa postingan teman, menjawab komentar dari teman, sekaligus emailing. Well, tidak mengirim personal message ke teman mana pun sih, cuma ikut berkomentar ke topik pembicaraan satu mailing list yang aku ikuti, #Sastra-Pembebasan#. Sudah lama aku tidak ikut nimbrung perdebatan yang ada, hanya kirim-kirim jokes saja yang kulakukan akhir-akhir ini.
Satu jam lagi aku baru masuk kelas.
Jumat malam. Wah, kalau di luar negeri sudah termasuk weekend nih. But, bagiku bekerja di waktu weekend bukan masalah baru. Di tempat kerjaku yang satu, aku biasa mengajar hari Sabtu jam 8-12. Setelah lunch break, dilanjutkan lagi jam 14-18.
Aku memang termasuk seorang pekerja keras.
Sebelum aku balik ke bangku kuliah lagi di tahun 2002, aku terbiasa dengan jadual yang hectic dengan bekerja di dua tempat, satu univ swasta dan satu kursus Bahasa Inggris, plus beberapa siswa privat.
Kuliah lagi membuatku menjadi orang yang agak nyante. LOL. Apalagi setelah masuk semester 4. Wah, santai banget! Jika dulunya aku tidak bisa menikmati seharian ongkang-angkang kaki, (baca => nggak ngapa-ngapain), di semester 5, 6, 7, itu aku bisa sangat menikmati saat-saat aku santai, duduk di depan komputer, ngetik draft tesis, atau pun email ke Lelaki Terindahku, atau membaca buku, atau membaca artikel-artikel yang kudownload dari internet.
Setelah balik kerja full lagi (setelah lulus kuliah), aku masih melanjutkan saat-saat santai itu. Jadual ngajarku belum lah se'hectic' sebelum tahun 2002. Dan, aku pun menikmatinya denngan membaca buku, ngetik artikel untuk blog (hobby terbaru setelah lulus kuliah), ngenet untuk emailing dan blogging.
Seperti saat ini!!!

Mimpi

 


Semalam engkau hadir dalam mimpiku, Cinta,
menyanyikan lagu kesukaanku, "Jangan Pergi"nya KD.
Setelah sekian lama tak kudengar suaramu, Kekasih,
aku merasa begitu excited,
meskipun itu hanya dalam mimpi ...

Semalam engkau hadir dalam mimpiku, Cinta,
dan kita berbincang-bincang segala macam hal,
tentang aku yang seorang feminis
dan tak bosan-bosannya meneriakkan
kesetaraan laki-laki dan perempuan
tentang carut-marutnya negara kita
yang rasa-rasanya akan segera terdisintegrasi
jika setiap golongan begitu angkuh
untuk menaklukkan golongan yang berseberangan dengannya

Semalam engkau hadir dalam mimpiku, Cinta,
dan aku begitu bahagia
menatap matamu yang selalu membuatku merasa kau puja
mendengar suaramu yang selalu merontokkan hati
melihat senyummu yang menyejukkan jiwa
merasakan belaian kasihmu yang senantiasa kudamba

Semalam engkau hadir dalam mimpiku, Cinta
hanya dalam mimpi
namun mimpi itu mampu membuatku penuh semangat
menjalani aktifitasku hari ini

Aku cinta kamu, Cinta ...

Jumat, 7 Juli 2006

Jam 11.30 aku telah sampai di warnet tempat mangkalku, yang terletak di Jalan Imam Bonjol.
Tukang parkir menyapaku, "Baru jam segini sudah pulang kerja mbak?"
Aku cuma tersenyum. Kenyataannya? Aku baru berangkat dari rumah, langsung mampir ke warnet karena akan posting beberapa artikel yang telah kuketik kemarin di blog. Biasa, komputer di kantor terlalu lemot dan penuh virus, sehingga aku memilih ke warnet. Agar cepet posting ke blog, dan cepet pula dapat komentar, dan cepet membalas komentar, bla bla bla ... :)
Pertanyaan bapak tukang parkir jadi membuatku berpikir warnet ini telah menjadi kantor ketigaku. LOL. FYI, I work for two places at the moment, so warnet ini menjadi kantor ketiga, bukan kedua. LOL.
Ngomong-ngomong tentang tukang parkir yang dulu sempet 'abuse' aku, well, sekarang ga begitu lagi. Bagaimana caranya? Well, aku CUEKIN mereka!!! LOL.
Jadi inget komentar Verra. "Ms. Nana terlalu ramah sih ke mereka. Biasalah, laki-laki kalo diramahin kan jadinya gitu, ngelonjak."
Setelah kucuekin, yah ... they stop looking at me abusively, moreover greeting with nasty sentences.
Oh laki-laki ...
Emang NYEBELIN!!!

Ms ...

This week is the beginning of a term in my workplace, an English course (we teach English as the foreign language here in Indonesia.).
One thing I often do on the first day of teaching is to introduce the students to the idea of titles Mr. Ms. Miss and Mrs. Mostly they don’t know yet what is the difference between Ms. And Mrs. They think that Ms. is the abbreviation of Miss.
“My name is Nana. Call me Ms. Nana.” (NOTE: the way to pronounce Ms is Miz; while the way to pronounce Miss is Mis.)
Many students laugh when hearing me pronouncing Miz. That is the best time for me to explain the difference among those four titles.
Mr. As an example, I often use the name of someone close to me, Ery Setyawan. “If I mention the name Mr. Ery Setyawan, do you think this man is married or single?”
In fact, from the answer, I concluded that many of them still don’t know that the title Mr can be used for both single and married man.
For Miss and Mrs, the students mostly know the difference between these two titles. And then I say, “Don’t you think it is not fair? Why for men, there is no difference and for women there is difference? Man can hide their marital status with the title Mr; while for women, when they say their name is Miss bla bla bla ..., people will easily say, “Aha ... this woman is not “sold out” yet, no man wants to marry her yet. It will create another worse feeling when the woman is more than thirty years old. Being single at the age of more than thirty years old in Indonesia is not favored. When the women say that their name is Mrs bla bla bla ... people will comment, “Oh she must behave herself as a married woman. If not, she must belong to the bitch.”
Usually my explanation will trigger my students to laugh loudly. LOL. Then I continue,
“That’s why in the 1960s, the women movement in America created a new title that made women ‘equal’ with men in this case, ‘Ms’. when a woman wants to hide their marital status, she can use this title, “ms’. If she is proud of her being married, well, she can use the title “Mrs.”, if she is looking for a boyfriend and wants people to know her as single, she will use the title ‘Miss’.”
Yesterday, a student asked me why not on the way around? Why didn’t those women create a new title for men where people can recognize a man as someone single or married?
In the 1960s America, many feminists still thought that if they wanted to make themselves equal with men, they had to do anything what men did, including made themselves be like men; such as wearing clothes as men, walking the way men did, didn’t really like the idea of being a housewife, so that they didn’t really respect women who chose to be a housewife, etc. Gradually after the idea of equality between men and women were more spread all around the world, feminists thought that making a choice is really a woman’s right, including if a woman chooses to be a housewife, not only to choose as an astronout, a scientist, a boxer, etc.
Therefore, instead of creating a new title for men so that people can recognize them as someone single or married, those feminists created a title that made women like men, a title that is equal with Mr—can be single or married.
PT56 10.54 070706

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Thursday, July 6, 2006

Before taking a shower this morning, I already prodoced three short articles to post at my blogs.
However, when online, I just realized that I left the floppy disk at home. :( So? Of course I cannot post anything here.
Oh well, nobody forced you to post anything in your blog, dear Nana. People will patiently wait for your updates. LOL.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

How To Make Women Happy?

 


It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passi! onate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked
2. Bring food

--

Religious Snob

This is one topic that has been discussed "hotly" for several weeks in one mailing list I join.
Religious snob ...
I must admit that I used to be included in such a "community" coz I was indoctrinated like that--that Islam is the only right religion; that embracing Islam will make a group of people better than the rest so that they are the only people who will go to heaven while the rest go go hell, etc.
I didn't use my common sense at that time coz of my very young age and also the strong indoctrination given by people I must respect--parents and teachers.
After I used my common sense, and I consider myself to be "awakened" from my long sleep, I found those religious snob very ridiculuous.
Naively I thought my "awakening" was closely related to my advancing age.
However, when reading that those joining the mailing list I mentioned above are about the same age as I am, even older, and still they are not "awakened" yet, still consider themselves as the most enlightened, and then underestimate other people who view things from contradictory perspective, I become very sad; even sometimes I feel so broken-hearted.
Recently a workmate and I have had discussed this kind of thing: what will happen to Indonesia when the people easily judge other people bad only coz of the different religion and then they impose their being majority to force other people to agree with their opinion--let's say to apply the Sharia regulations (based on Islamic regulation); while our founding fathers like Soekarno and Hatta (the first president and the first vice president) already formulated Indonesia as a country based on PANCASILA (five principles) that accommodate different religions and encouraged the conducive situation among different religions. Isn't that much lovelier to understand other people? So that they understand us?
Age really doesn't guarantee that someone is wise.

Thinking Of You

Just sitting here and thinking,
Thinking my thoughts of you
Dreaming of how things would be
If you were right here too.

I hope that things are going
The way that you had planned
I only wish that you were here
And I could hold your hand

I dream of being with you
Of being by your side
Of waking up beside you
Of love that we won't hide

I hope one day that you'll be more
Than just a dream at night
That I can bring you happiness
And love with all my might

But until then, I'm here alone
There's nothing else to do
Than dream of you and count the days
Until I'm there with you

Some cute quotes

From my friend's post at http://angelslovefairiesandmedawna.blog.co.uk/

* Goodness pays off in the long run.
* Now and then, try as you may, there are some people who will just never change
* The best jokes to crack are the ones that are not belittling others
* Age does not guarantee grace
* No one nations', colours', religions' people are bad. Evil is an individualistic thing, detached from all these factors.
* Two people from two different corners of the globe can end up becoming the best of friends.
* Anger is a disease that hampers spiritual growth.

Monday, July 03, 2006

I am

I am what I think
not what you think
I am what I read
not what you read
I am what I say
not what you say
"You are just a stubborn mistaken rebel."
Ups ... that's what you said
not what I said.

Seseorang mengatakan, "Think, Nan, think!!! Don't only force your ego to come out first!"
Nah, mengapa tidak dia balik saja? Dia yang memandang permasalahan dari kacamataku? Dan, bukan dia yang memaksaku untuk memandang suatu permasalahan dari perspektifnya? Tidakkah dia pun sama saja, only forced his ego to me???
Oh man ... what a ridiculous creature you are!!!

Tubuhmu

Setiap inci tubuhmu adalah cinta
yang selalu membuatku dahaga
untuk mereguk nikmatnya

Tobat? :-D

“Alo mbak Fe, kok sekarang gak pernah chatting? Dah tobat ya?”

Seseorang yang menyebalkan mengirim message seperti itu ke hapeku semalam. Coba perhatikan kata ‘tobat’. Bukankah kata ‘tobat’ itu biasa dipakai oleh seseorang yang menyadari bahwa dia telah melakukan suatu kesalahan atau dosa, kemudian ingin berhenti melakukan hal tersebut dengan mengatakan, “Aku sudah tobat.”
Itu berarti bagi seseorang yang bagiku yang menyebalkan itu kegiatan chatting adalah suatu kesalahan, sehingga ketika aku tak lagi melakukan hal tersebut, aku dianggapnya telah ‘tobat’.
Mengapa chatting dianggap sebagai suatu kesalahan, bahkan dosa?
Hal ini tentu kembali ke ‘peraturan-peraturan’ dalam hidup yang kita percayai dan seyogyanya kita ikuti. Siapa yang membuat peraturan-peraturan tersebut? Masyarakat? Kepala masyarakat (alias pemimpin masyarakat alias pemerintah))? Agama? Pemuka agama? Atau diri kita sendiri? Boleh kan kita membuat batasan-batasan dalam hidup kita ini?
Konsensus dalam masyarakat yang aku amati selama ini, misalnya, ketika seseorang telah menikah, maka dia HARUS setia kepada pasangannya. Setia ini tentu banyak macamnya, dari yang ekstrem: misalnya sampai tidak bersosialisasi dengan lawan jenis (karena dikhawatirkan akan terjadi daya tarik menarik sehingga menimbulkan kemungkinan untuk tidak setia), seorang suami mungkin mengharuskan istrinya tinggal di rumah saja, dengan kekhawatiran yang sama; hal ini menimbulkan kemungkinan yang serupa, seorang istri mungkin mengharuskan suaminya tinggal di rumah, karena khawatir suaminya akan tertarik dengan perempuan-perempuan lain yang ditemui suami di luar rumah, bukankah hasil riset beberapa tahun yang lalu menyimpulkan bahwa dua dari tiga laki-laki di Jakarta pernah melakukan selingkuh, sehingga persentase pelaku selingkuh lebih banyak laki-laki dari pada perempuan? HARUS SETIA yang biasa-biasa saja (baca  tidak ekstrem): boleh-boleh saja bersosialisasi dengan lawan jenis, asal tahu batas. Batas ini pun kemudian bisa dibagi lagi: misal, hanya ngobrol, tanpa pernah naik motor/mobil bersama teman lawan jenis, dengan alasan apa pun. Atau boleh saja ngobrol, naik motor/mobil bersama, asal tidak yang lebih intim dari itu: misal keluar makan berdua dengan lawan jenis, dll.
Ada juga konsensus lain yang aku dapatkan dari masyarakat. Seseorang (terutama perempuan) yang telah menikah harus lebih memprioritaskan kepentingan keluarga di atas kepentingan dia sendiri, maka dia akan di’hadiahi’ label sebagai “perempuan yang baik”; “istri yang setia”; “ibu yang bisa menempatkan diri bahwa dia tak lebih penting dari anak dan juga suami.”
Setahuku hal itu semua hanyalah konsensus, dan bukan peraturan baku yang ditulis dalam Undang-Undang. Namun sepertinya semua anggota masyarakat harus mematuhinya, kalau tidak ingin dianggap sebagai anggota masyarakat yang ‘mbalelo’.
Kembali ke sms yang kuterima tadi malam. Seolah-olah ada konsensus yang mengatakan bahwa dunia chatting hanyalah milik orang-orang yang masih single. Mengapa?
Harus kuakui berdasarkan pengalamanku coming back to the cyber chatting life since 2004, sebagian besar chatters yang kutemui mengatakan padaku bahwa mereka sedang mencari pacar, atau soul mate. (Ingat, sebagian besar tidak berarti SEMUA!) Dan jika kuhubungkan dengan konsensus untuk orang yang telah menikah bahwa mereka HARUS SETIA (misal: tidak boleh bersosialisasi dengan lawan jenis,) maka masyarakat akan dengan mudah menghakimi orang-orang yang telah menikah chatting sebagai orang-orang yang salah, bahkan mungkin berdosa. (Oh well, bukankah dosa bukan urusan manusia, melainkan urusan Tuhan? Hanya Tuhan yang paling berhak menghakimi apakah seseorang berdosa atau tidak.)
Aku ingat di tahun 2004 lalu aku pernah chat dengan seorang laki-laki yang menilai aku sebagai seorang pemimpi yang naif ketika aku mengatakan padanya bahwa aku mencari seorang teman lewat dunia maya, dan bukan seseorang yang bisa kuajak selingkuh.
Ada tipe orang yang bisa menjadi dirinya sendiri (baca  berbicara terbuka tentang apa saja) tatkala dia chat di dunia maya, meskipun mungkin dia memakai nick dan identitas yang berbeda dari yang sebenarnya. Orang-orang yang terkungkung dengan kosensus-konsensus semu dan ‘pura-pura’ bahagia dengan keadaannya, akan menemukan media menjadi diri sendiri manakala dia chatting. Ada kemungkinan bukan bahwa seseorang akan bisa memperoleh teman lewat dunia maya? Dan bukan hanya mencari partner untuk ‘sex on one night stand’?
Aku adalah seorang pembosan. Ada saat-saat di mana aku begitu menikmati chatting, baik lewat IRC maupun YM, ngobrol dengan banyak chatters dengan berbagai macam karakter. Sejak tahun 2004 aku memiliki beberapa teman chat yang asik, memang tidak banyak. Bukankah sulit mencari jarum di antara tumpukan jerami? Dan dengan adanya friendster, kita tetap terhubung karenanya.
Semenjak aku aktif ngeblog di awal tahun ini, chatting lewat IRC maupun YM tak lagi menarik bagiku. Aku lebih suka mengembangkan bakatku menulis lewat blog dari pada chatting. Merupakan suatu kebetulan belaka jika teman-teman chat ku yang asik yang kusebut di atas juga mulai menghilang dari dunia maya karena kesibukan masing-masing. Aku tetap ‘chatting’, namun aku melakukannya lewat blog, saling membaca postingan teman di blog mereka masing-masing, kemudian mendiskusikan beberapa topik yang menarik, bukankah itu juga chatting namanya?
Kegiatan online tarakhir yang kulakukan adalah mengikuti mailing list, seperti yang kutulis di postingan sebelum ini. Aku membaca message yang masuk, ikut berkomentar kalau aku merasa tertarik untuk ikut meramaikan suasana. Hal ini bisa disebut chatting juga kan?
Semenjak lulus kuliah dari American Studies UGM dan kembali ke kota kelahiranku tercinta, Semarang, aku tetap aktif online. I go online everyday, kecuali Minggu, karena kantor libur. LOL. Gak enak aja sama satpam kalo tiba-tiba aku nongol ke kantor, hanya untuk online gratis. LOL. Kebetulan juga warnet tempatku mangkal (kalo lagi males ke kantor) tutup kalo hari Minggu. Ke warnet lain? Males, mahal sih. LOL.
So, mengapa aku harus merasa melakukan kesalahan dengan chatting? Aku adalah seseorang yang memiliki rasa kepercayaan diri yang lumayan. Aku percaya bahwa hidupku adalah milikku, sehingga tak akan kubiarkan peraturan macam apa pun membelenggu kegiatanku. Yang penting lagi adalah, aku tidak melakukan kejahatan yang menyebabkan orang lain merasa rugi karenanya.
PT56 15.28 020706