Perfectionist

Am I a perfectionist?
I never thought like that until one day, around seven or eight years ago an (ex) workmate of mine said so about me. At that time I was busy typing some material to give my students at the office. After I printed it, I read the printout, found some mistakes (not really fatal mistyped though), I revised it, then printed it again. When the result of the printout was not really satisfying to me (perhaps the ink in some lines was not as thick as the others, or the margin was not really fit like what I wanted), I printed it again and again until I got the best result like what I wanted.
Seeing me busy like that, she commented, “You are really a perfectionist, huh?”
And I was dumbfounded because I never considered myself like that.
However, since then on I started to be alert to anything I did. I often found myself troubled when I mistyped. When I wrote in English, and realized I used a wrong diction, I would quickly revise it. When I was not really sure of one word, I would look up in the dictionary. However, I considered those things just common things. It didn’t really show that I was a perfectionist. That’s what I thought of myself.
Until the day I resumed my study. I found out that Julie was included into a lousy person for mistyping words, for not really good margins when typing, and she was not troubled at all with those things. How come?
Until the time for me to write my thesis, I always never felt ready to start writing it. I always felt that I lacked material. Feeling nervous when writing it, feeling not sure to write a good one, I always tried finding excuse for myself not to finish it soon. For example: I was waiting for some textbooks I ordered from America, I was also waiting for the comment from Prof Egan about the proposal of my thesis. I sent it to him although he already went back to New York one year before, to ask for his suggestion for betterment. At the same time, I also underwent difficult times in my private life.
I kept postponing writing my thesis.
Until I could not postpone it any longer due to financial constraint I got (no more allowance from the scholarship!!! LOL.) I had to force myself to finish it soon.
Meantime I found an article stating that one main characteristic of a perfectionist was being a procrastinator. Feeling worried not to do his/her best, a perfectionist keeps postponing doing his/her assignment until due. After he/she has no time to postpone it anymore, he/she will be forced to do his/her assignment. When he/she doesn’t produce the best one, he/she will have the best excuse, “Not enough time to do the assignment.”
Huh!!! Annoying, right? LOL.
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