Masochist

*curcol*



I have recognized, for quite some time, that I am a masochist: somewhat enjoy torturing myself to feel that I am alive. LOL. When everything seems okay in my life then I will bother myself to find any trouble on the 'road' and pick some of them. LOL. The same thing when I am of opinion that my life is at the edge to fall into boredom, i will be in a hurry to look for any problem. LOL. (shame on me, huh? LOL)



Recently I have had a very deep crush on someone next door. Prikitiew! LOL. He is online everyday although he does not always post a new writing on his blog everyday. But, since I am craving for his attention, uhuk uhuk ,,, I have tried my best to write something -- name it a poem, a daily chit-chat, a very unnecessary quick note, a somewhat fulfilling writing, etc -- only to get his comment. Poor me, eh? LOL. Meanwhile I also always read friends' posts when I know that he comments on them. Reading his comment is yummy too. LOL. FYI, when writing comments, he is not the type of those who like licking someone's ass. If it is bad, he will say it is bad. If it is a good piece, he will say that.



So busy am I to think what to write, to visit friends' posts only to find his comment there, that I forget one thing which in fact is the best thing to appease my longing to get involved with him: reading his old posts! These past a few days I have 'forgotten' to do this and I have missed him like hell, despite the fact that he keeps visiting my posts and commenting on them. There ... I have enjoyed torturing myself until ... some time ago I found the cure: reading his old posts that I haven't read!!! LOL. I know I keep postponing doing this although everyday I open his blog. Ahh ... he is always as delicious as my perfect cappuccino. I mean his writings and his way of thinking. LOL.



I don't understand myself how I keep postponing reading him while I told him that reading him has become like taking a breath for me, just like having breakfast, lunch, dinner, and supper. It is a choice of being dead or alive. LOL.



Falling in love is intoxicatingly addictive, eh? Just like being masochist. For me. LOL.

========== ========== ==========

GL7 13.47 020311