Have you ever been in a situation that made you HAVE TO make up a (white) lie in order that your parents will think you are a perfect kid? A perfect daughter?
I have been living in such a situation since a kid, so long time ago that I forgot when I started doing it. Feeling worried to be scolded or blamed – or worse is worry to hurt your parent’s feeling (or ego?) – has made me a liar.
(I realize now why in one personality quiz I did some time ago I got ‘introvert’ result. Despite the fact I talked a lot about my life to other people – my parents included for sure – in my daily life or via online, I keep some (perhaps very crucial not to mention embarrassing in my opinion) things for myself.)
One very easily guessable example when I was a teenager is to have a crush on a boy, moreover to have a date with him. My parents knew nothing about this kind of stuff of course.
The latest issue was when I started somewhat converting to being an agnostic. For this very extremely crucial topic, I would never open myself to my Mom. Instead of guessing and predicting whether she would ever understand my way of thinking or she would make me go away from her life that perhaps would break her heart – maybe in her eyes i choose to be in hell rather than to be with her in heaven – I choose to tell white lies. I dunno until when I have to do this.
I know I would never live my own life. This is the risk I have to live by.
Would you completely blame me for being such a coward?
From this life lesson, for sure, I choose to raise my only daughter with a very different way. She can always be in flaw in everything, but still she is my dearest and beloved daughter. She has NEVER to act as a perfect one by telling me white lies.
GL7 13.37 24/01/12
P.S.:
Or I defined 'white lies' wrongly> :'(
I have been living in such a situation since a kid, so long time ago that I forgot when I started doing it. Feeling worried to be scolded or blamed – or worse is worry to hurt your parent’s feeling (or ego?) – has made me a liar.
(I realize now why in one personality quiz I did some time ago I got ‘introvert’ result. Despite the fact I talked a lot about my life to other people – my parents included for sure – in my daily life or via online, I keep some (perhaps very crucial not to mention embarrassing in my opinion) things for myself.)
One very easily guessable example when I was a teenager is to have a crush on a boy, moreover to have a date with him. My parents knew nothing about this kind of stuff of course.
The latest issue was when I started somewhat converting to being an agnostic. For this very extremely crucial topic, I would never open myself to my Mom. Instead of guessing and predicting whether she would ever understand my way of thinking or she would make me go away from her life that perhaps would break her heart – maybe in her eyes i choose to be in hell rather than to be with her in heaven – I choose to tell white lies. I dunno until when I have to do this.
I know I would never live my own life. This is the risk I have to live by.
Would you completely blame me for being such a coward?
From this life lesson, for sure, I choose to raise my only daughter with a very different way. She can always be in flaw in everything, but still she is my dearest and beloved daughter. She has NEVER to act as a perfect one by telling me white lies.
GL7 13.37 24/01/12
P.S.:
Or I defined 'white lies' wrongly> :'(
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