Why getting married? (2)

 

In episode 15 season 4, Sex and the City, Carrie asked her 3 friends: "Why do we even have to get married? Give me one good reason, aside that no wants to die alone thing."

 

Charlotte answered: "For me, when it is good, marriage gives me a sense of security."

Carrie responded, "I feel secure in this relationship now. Things are great with us."

 

Many years ago, when I asked my students why people get married, in Indonesian culture, the first reason is to celebrate sex (legally, both in the country law and in the religion law). In Indonesia, on the 'surface' culture, people are not supposed to have sex before they get married, although of course, in sub-culture, sex outside wedlock is acceptable. (Am I right? Or not yet?)

 

Related to my post here, from some reasons I mentioned why people get married (in Indonesia), where is 'security' positioned? ('security' as Charlotte mentioned.) But, perhaps, first, we need to find out how Charlotte defined security here. Is it

 

1. Financial security; when the couple get divorced, the wife will get some money from the husband, or on the way around
2. Social security; people know that the couple are married. This is somewhat important in Indonesia now that many hotels ask for a copy of marriage certificate when a couple want to stay a night
3. Another social security: when a married woman gets pregnant, people will not judge her as  a bit*h because she is married, she is legal to have sex, therefore it is accepted when she is pregnant

 

Well, in my opinion, with the shrink of the world (due to internet technology) Indonesian culture -- in this case is getting married -- is still far cry from Western culture. Carrie felt secure in her relationship with Aidan without getting married, from Carrie's point. On the contrary, Aidan felt insecure if he didn't 'tie' Carrie in a marriage bond; in their previous relationship, Carrie cheated on him with Big. Therefore, he really wanted to marry Carrie while (he thought that) Carrie was still head-over-heels in love with him.

 

In fact, marriage does not guarantee that someone will not cheat on his/her partner, anyway. Marriage is as fragile as boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.

 

Don’t you think?

 

PT56 13.48 27/05/2024