Ngomong-ngomong tentang masa-masa 'mbalelo'ku ketika mengenakan celana jeans dan T-shirt ketika mengajar di kampus, aku ada satu pengalaman yang selalu suka aku ingat-ingat dan ceritakan ke teman-teman.
Hari Kamis itu aku mengajar sejak jam 10am sampai malam, jam 9pm. Setelah usai mengajar sekitar jam 9pm, aku dan mahasiswaku turun ke lantai 1 naik lift. Dalam lift, ada juga beberapa mahasiswa dari fakultas lain, Fakultas Ekonomi. Setelah keluar dari lift, aku berbelok ke kanan, ke arah luar gedung, sedangkan banyak mahasiswa yang berbelok kiri, ke arah areal parkir di belakang gedung utama.
Ada seorang mahasiswa perempuan yang berusaha membarengiku ketika berjalan. Kemudian dia menyapa, "Mbak, punya pulsa nggak?"
Aku heran karena dia menyapaku 'mbak'. Semua mahasiswa FBS menyapaku, "Bu ...", atau "Ma'am..." atau pun "Miss ..." Dari cara dia menyapaku aku menyimpulkan bahwa dia tidak mengenaliku sebagai dosen.
"Emang kenapa sih?" tanyaku kepadanya.
"Boleh minta pulsanya dong?" rengeknya manja.
Ups ... pede banget nih cewek satu ini, pikirku.
"Untuk apa?" tanyaku lagi.
"Mau telpon minta dijemput." jawabnya, masih dengan nada manja.
"Hmm ... kenapa ga sms saja?" tanyaku, pelit. LOL.
"Wah ... kalo sms, lama ..." responsnya.
"Waduh, sorry, pulsa limit nih," jawabku sambil cepat-cepat ngacir pergi. LOL.
"Oh, ya udah mbak," katanya.
Ada dua alasan mengapa dia tidak mengenaliku sebagai seorang dosen di tempat dia kuliah. Pertama, ya karena aku hanya memakai celana jeans dan T-shirt. Kedua, di matanya aku masih terlihat imut sehingga pantas untuk menjadi mahasiswa S1. LOL.
***********
Beberapa bulan kemudian, aku bertemu mahasiswa yang bersangkutan. Aku mengenakan "seragam kebesaranku", rok panjang hitam dan blus hitam. Aku membawa beberapa berkas skripsi untuk kuuji hari itu (sedang musim ujian skripsi waktu itu). Dia dengan baik hati menyapaku, "Mau ujian skripsi mbak?"
Aku geli mendengarnya. Sehingga aku dengan baik hati pula menjawabnya, "Oh enggak. Mau nguji skripsi nih," sambil tersenyum.
Aku lihat ekspresi wajahnya kaget. Dia bertanya, "Nguji? Bukannya mau ujian?"
LOL.
"Menguji." jawabku pendek, sambil tersenyum manis, agar dia tidak terlalu malu, karena tetap saja menganggapku sebagai mahasiswa.
Dan dia melongo.
Hahaha ...
Kesimpulan: Dia menganggapku sebagai seorang mahasiswa bukan karena aku mengenakan celana jeans dan T-shirt waktu itu, melainkan karena dia mengira bahwa wajahku terlalu imut untuk pantas menjadi seorang dosen. LOL.
FBS UA 13.00 280906
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Secret?
 |
| 12 March 2011, at home |
I realize that I am an extrovert person so that it is not really difficult for people to find out what has been happening to me. Besides, I also need to open up myself. I just cannot keep all things by myself, including a very trivial thing, such as some trivial experiences I have that I often write here in my blog--sitting in front of this computer for hours, while blogging, emailing--and some other things. Moreover when I feel annoyed coz of someone, I really have to tell someone else, writing to dead papers (read => my diary) is no longer enough for me.
This blog technology has lured me to write more and more, to express myself more and more. Having a "free of charge" therapist (read => my only Abang) also has lured me to express myself more. LOL. In short, I have to pour out anything on my mind to make myself feel better. Self-centered, isn't it? Yes, I've got to admit it, but I write it here in my blog, and I don't force anybody to read what I write here. If my friends find it interesting, they will read it (probably). If not, it is okay, I have poured out what I want to spit. LOL.
It reminds me of my own comment on PRIME the movie, where the main character needed to go to a therapist to tell her relationship with a guy 14 years younger. She needed to open herself about her intimate relationship with him, but she didn't feel comfortable to tell anybody else.
I don't need to go to a therapist. (yet? LOL.) I just need this blog technology, my dead papers--diary--, and my living papers alias my reliable garbage bin. Huehehehe ...
"You no longer have secrets, Nana," my Abang said.
"Oh well, Bang, what I write in my blog is not a secret for me. Everybody in the world can know this. And it is okay for me." I responded. "But, of course I have some, or maybe many, secrets I keep for myself." LOL.
"What is secret anyway, Bang?" I asked. huehehehe ...
FBS UA 15.00 280906
P.S.: Just got my Abang's email that I really want to reply as soon as possible. So I stop writing here. LOL.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Scribbling
Seandainya tidak ada teknologi blog ...
1. Ketika di kantor (terutama di musim break semester seperti sekarang ini), aku akan menghabiskan waktu hanya ngerumpi dengan rekan dosen yang lain.
2. Jikalau tidak ada teman untuk ngerumpi, aku akan menghabiskan waktuku menulis di buku harian (I have to express myself!!!)
3. Terlalu sering menulis di buku harian, akan cepat menghabiskan buku itu, sehingga aku harus sering membeli buku baru :-((
4. Terlalu sering menulis di buku harian, balpoint juga bakal cepat habis, harus beli yang baru lagi, lagi, dan lagi :-((
5. Setelah jari jemariku capek untuk menulis di buku, akhirnya aku akan membaca buku.
6. Membaca buku membuatku ingin menulis lagi.
7. Ingin menulis berarti kembali ke point 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 ... seperti lingkaran yang tak berkesudahan. LOL.
Finding blog technology is a great relief
Finding good friends here is a greater gift
FBS UA 12.15 270906
1. Ketika di kantor (terutama di musim break semester seperti sekarang ini), aku akan menghabiskan waktu hanya ngerumpi dengan rekan dosen yang lain.
2. Jikalau tidak ada teman untuk ngerumpi, aku akan menghabiskan waktuku menulis di buku harian (I have to express myself!!!)
3. Terlalu sering menulis di buku harian, akan cepat menghabiskan buku itu, sehingga aku harus sering membeli buku baru :-((
4. Terlalu sering menulis di buku harian, balpoint juga bakal cepat habis, harus beli yang baru lagi, lagi, dan lagi :-((
5. Setelah jari jemariku capek untuk menulis di buku, akhirnya aku akan membaca buku.
6. Membaca buku membuatku ingin menulis lagi.
7. Ingin menulis berarti kembali ke point 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 ... seperti lingkaran yang tak berkesudahan. LOL.
Finding blog technology is a great relief
Finding good friends here is a greater gift
FBS UA 12.15 270906
Jeans versus Dosen
Ide menulis artikel ini kudapatkan ketika membaca artikel Aquarini di bukunya KAJIAN BUDAYA FEMINIS yang berjudul "Jins, Dangdut, dan Dosen".
Di universitas tempat Aquarini bekerja, ada tulisan "Berpakaianlah sesuai profesi." Dan silakan terjemahkan sendiri apa makna peraturan tersebut. :-)
Di universitas tempatku kerja ada peraturan yang lebih jelas, perempuan harus memakai rok, atasan blus, atau blazer, sedangkan laki-laki celana panjang untuk bawahan, dan hem untuk atasan.
Di Fakultas tempatku bekerja, dosen perempuan sudah sangat biasa memakai celana panjang dan sama sekali kita tidak melihat signifikansi antara bekerja sebagai dosen dengan tugas utama mencerdaskan kehidupan bangsa (baca => mengajar) dengan harus memakai rok? Ada apa dengan memakai celana panjang? Walhasil, teman-temanku yang dosen sastra itu (sastra berarti seni, mana ada orang seni yang suka mengikuti peraturan? apalagi peraturan yang tidak jelas signifikansinya seperti itu?), tetap saja memakai celana panjang dengan blazer ketika mengajar. Toh, menurutku mereka tetap kelihatan rapi, dan tertutup kakinya, dibandingkan dengan memakai rok yang selutut misalnya, ataupun yang di atas lutut. :)
Bagaimana dengan memakai jeans?
Sewaktu aku kuliah di American Studies UGM, aku harus sering mondar-mandir Semarang--Yogya--Semarang. Perjalanan yang kutempuh kurang lebih tiga jam naik bus tersebut kurasakan akan sangat nyaman jikalau aku memakai celana jeans plus T-shirt. Hari Minggu biasanya aku berangkat ke Yogya, hari Kamis aku pulang ke Semarang dan kelas yang kuampu jam 10. Sudah merupakan pemandangan yang biasa kalau mahasiswaku melihatku datang dan mengajar di depan kelas sambil mengenakan jeans dan T-shirt. I told my students, "Kita sama-sama mengenakan jeans dan T-shirt, yang membedakan mengapa saya adalah dosen di sini sedangkan anda adalah mahasiswa saya adalah, saya membaca buku lebih dahulu daripada anda." LOL.
Kebetulan ketika aku kuliah dulu, dua dosen tamu dari New York dan Michigan, kedua-duanya tipe dosen yang rapi, mengenakan hem dan celana panjang yang bukan jeans. Namun aku bisa melihat dari cara pandang mereka bahwa yang penting dari seorang dosen adalah apa yang ada di otaknya, yang akan dia bagi kepada para mahasiswanya, daripada apa yang melekat di tubuhnya.
Agree???
Btw, itu dulu. Sekarang "seragam kebesaranku" adalah rok panjang warna hitam dan blazer hitam, atau blus hitam. And my students call me as "Ms. Black." And I don't mind it at all. :-) Memakai jeans hanya kadang-kadang ketika aku ke kantor hari Sabtu.
FBS UA 11.30 270906
P.S.: Aku belum selesai membaca artikel Aquarini, baru satu paragraf dan aku sudah tak tahan nafsu untuk menulis pengalamanku sendiri di sini. LOL. Itu sebabnya tidak ada hubungannya dengan dangdut, karena kebetulan juga I don't like this genre of music. :-)
Di universitas tempat Aquarini bekerja, ada tulisan "Berpakaianlah sesuai profesi." Dan silakan terjemahkan sendiri apa makna peraturan tersebut. :-)
Di universitas tempatku kerja ada peraturan yang lebih jelas, perempuan harus memakai rok, atasan blus, atau blazer, sedangkan laki-laki celana panjang untuk bawahan, dan hem untuk atasan.
Di Fakultas tempatku bekerja, dosen perempuan sudah sangat biasa memakai celana panjang dan sama sekali kita tidak melihat signifikansi antara bekerja sebagai dosen dengan tugas utama mencerdaskan kehidupan bangsa (baca => mengajar) dengan harus memakai rok? Ada apa dengan memakai celana panjang? Walhasil, teman-temanku yang dosen sastra itu (sastra berarti seni, mana ada orang seni yang suka mengikuti peraturan? apalagi peraturan yang tidak jelas signifikansinya seperti itu?), tetap saja memakai celana panjang dengan blazer ketika mengajar. Toh, menurutku mereka tetap kelihatan rapi, dan tertutup kakinya, dibandingkan dengan memakai rok yang selutut misalnya, ataupun yang di atas lutut. :)
Bagaimana dengan memakai jeans?
Sewaktu aku kuliah di American Studies UGM, aku harus sering mondar-mandir Semarang--Yogya--Semarang. Perjalanan yang kutempuh kurang lebih tiga jam naik bus tersebut kurasakan akan sangat nyaman jikalau aku memakai celana jeans plus T-shirt. Hari Minggu biasanya aku berangkat ke Yogya, hari Kamis aku pulang ke Semarang dan kelas yang kuampu jam 10. Sudah merupakan pemandangan yang biasa kalau mahasiswaku melihatku datang dan mengajar di depan kelas sambil mengenakan jeans dan T-shirt. I told my students, "Kita sama-sama mengenakan jeans dan T-shirt, yang membedakan mengapa saya adalah dosen di sini sedangkan anda adalah mahasiswa saya adalah, saya membaca buku lebih dahulu daripada anda." LOL.
Kebetulan ketika aku kuliah dulu, dua dosen tamu dari New York dan Michigan, kedua-duanya tipe dosen yang rapi, mengenakan hem dan celana panjang yang bukan jeans. Namun aku bisa melihat dari cara pandang mereka bahwa yang penting dari seorang dosen adalah apa yang ada di otaknya, yang akan dia bagi kepada para mahasiswanya, daripada apa yang melekat di tubuhnya.
Agree???
Btw, itu dulu. Sekarang "seragam kebesaranku" adalah rok panjang warna hitam dan blazer hitam, atau blus hitam. And my students call me as "Ms. Black." And I don't mind it at all. :-) Memakai jeans hanya kadang-kadang ketika aku ke kantor hari Sabtu.
FBS UA 11.30 270906
P.S.: Aku belum selesai membaca artikel Aquarini, baru satu paragraf dan aku sudah tak tahan nafsu untuk menulis pengalamanku sendiri di sini. LOL. Itu sebabnya tidak ada hubungannya dengan dangdut, karena kebetulan juga I don't like this genre of music. :-)
Annoying Student
I was about to leave the teachers' room yesterday when a tone in my hp signalling that a message arrived. I opened it:
+6224702xxx: "I was so busy that made me only able coming over to campus yesterday. And I found E for my KKP lesson on the KHS. I don't know what should I do mom. Do you have any suggestion?"
My reply: "Repeat next semester. You didn't give me the result and the form from BAAK that I could fill in your score. So, no score from me. Sorry.
FYI, this particular student (btw, look at the grammatical mistake he made in the message LOL) often asks teachers' understanding for his being busy doing his business, and for that, he thinks that teachers must understand his position. Understanding him means to give him privilege. Who the hell does he think he is??? (Keluar judesnya si Nana. LOL.)
FYI (again) when the first time that particular student joined my class--Introduction to Literature--in 2003, at the beginning of the semester, I found him somewhat outstanding among his peers with his fluent spoken English. He talked a lot. But then the result of his mid-test and final-test showed that he was just an average student. His excuse was, "I don't like LIterature. What the hell is studying it for? I would prefer subjects such as "Speaking", and some others." His excuse showed that he didn't really grasp what I explained in the class. :-((
And I must say that his fluent spoken English (but bad grammar LOL) has made him confident to give private lessons outside. Having many private students boosts his confidence that he is "smart" --still without realizing that his grammar must be improved a lot.
With his considering himself as 'smart', I can feel that he somewhat underestimates the teachers here. During the process of paper consultation, he sometimes looked at me underestimatingly when I gave him some correction for his paper.
Another annoying thing is when he asked me, "What makes internet so attractive to you? Coz anytime I come to this teachers' room I oftentimes find you sit before this computer and busy internetting? I found it very boring."
I (unavoidably) related that suspicious question to the majority people who "suspect" that internet is the way for people to get one-night-stand partner. :-((
Coldly but trying to be patiently, I answered, "Oh, don't you know that internet is a very huge library? Any data you are looking for can be found here, as long as you come up with the correct keyword. Just type the keyword in the search engine, and voila ... the data you need is before your nose. So far, internet has always become my best friend in getting data and information."
Still, that annoying student looked at me disbelievably.
Huh!!! What am I supposed to do with such an annoying student?
FBS UA 10.00 270906
+6224702xxx: "I was so busy that made me only able coming over to campus yesterday. And I found E for my KKP lesson on the KHS. I don't know what should I do mom. Do you have any suggestion?"
My reply: "Repeat next semester. You didn't give me the result and the form from BAAK that I could fill in your score. So, no score from me. Sorry.
FYI, this particular student (btw, look at the grammatical mistake he made in the message LOL) often asks teachers' understanding for his being busy doing his business, and for that, he thinks that teachers must understand his position. Understanding him means to give him privilege. Who the hell does he think he is??? (Keluar judesnya si Nana. LOL.)
FYI (again) when the first time that particular student joined my class--Introduction to Literature--in 2003, at the beginning of the semester, I found him somewhat outstanding among his peers with his fluent spoken English. He talked a lot. But then the result of his mid-test and final-test showed that he was just an average student. His excuse was, "I don't like LIterature. What the hell is studying it for? I would prefer subjects such as "Speaking", and some others." His excuse showed that he didn't really grasp what I explained in the class. :-((
And I must say that his fluent spoken English (but bad grammar LOL) has made him confident to give private lessons outside. Having many private students boosts his confidence that he is "smart" --still without realizing that his grammar must be improved a lot.
With his considering himself as 'smart', I can feel that he somewhat underestimates the teachers here. During the process of paper consultation, he sometimes looked at me underestimatingly when I gave him some correction for his paper.
Another annoying thing is when he asked me, "What makes internet so attractive to you? Coz anytime I come to this teachers' room I oftentimes find you sit before this computer and busy internetting? I found it very boring."
I (unavoidably) related that suspicious question to the majority people who "suspect" that internet is the way for people to get one-night-stand partner. :-((
Coldly but trying to be patiently, I answered, "Oh, don't you know that internet is a very huge library? Any data you are looking for can be found here, as long as you come up with the correct keyword. Just type the keyword in the search engine, and voila ... the data you need is before your nose. So far, internet has always become my best friend in getting data and information."
Still, that annoying student looked at me disbelievably.
Huh!!! What am I supposed to do with such an annoying student?
FBS UA 10.00 270906
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Kenangan di Bulan Ramadhan
Aku membagi masa kecilku menjadi dua bagian, pertama ketika aku sekeluarga masih tinggal di suatu daerah yang disebut Bulustalan. Kedua, ketika aku sekeluarga tinggal di satu daerah yang disebut Pusponjolo. Kedua tempat ini terletak di Semarang, kota kelahiranku dan bersaudara.
Ketika aku SD (di Bulustalan), setelah berbuka di rumah, aku dan kakak adik plus teman-teman tetangga menuju masjid terdekat untuk shalat Maghrib berjamaah. Setelah itu pulang, dengan meninggalkan sajadah dan mukena di masjid agar tidak kehabisan tempat nantinya. Di rumah, aku dan kakak adik makan.
Saat adzan untuk shalat Isya, aku dan adikku (perempuan) plus Mamie pergi ke masjid untuk shalat Isya dan tarawih bersama. Kakakku (laki-laki) pergi ke masjid bersama Papie, dan bergabung dengan laki-laki. Masa-masa yang kunikmati ketika kecil, karena bisa bermain bersama-sama dengan teman-teman.
Ketika aku SMP dan SMA (di Pusponjolo), berangkat ke masjid tidak lagi menjadi kebiasaanku sekeluarga karena letak masjid yang agak jauh (dibandingkan dengan ketika kami tinggal di Bulustalan). Satu kamar di rumah difungsikan sebagai musholla, tempat kami shalat bersama. Papie sebagai imam dan yang lain—Mamie, kakak, aku, dan adik-adik menjadi jamaah. Kadang-kadang kami sekeluarga berangkat untuk shalat Maghrib, Isya plus Tarawih ke kantor Papie yang sering menyelenggarakan buka puasa bersama dilanjutkan dengan shalat Maghrib, Isya, dan Tarawih berjamaah.
Setelah lulus SMA, aku pergi ke Yogya untuk melanjutkan kuliah di Sastra Inggris UGM, membuatku tak lagi mengikuti ‘ritual’ sepanjang bulan Ramadhan. Satu hal yang kupelajari ketika berpuasa jauh dari orang-orang tercinta itu adalah tak ada lagi persediaan makanan yang “gila-gilaan” ketika berbuka. (Oh well, aku tahu Papie Mamie menyediakan makanan yang berlebihan untuk berbuka itu karena cintanya kepada kami, anak-anaknya.) Aku jadi rajin memasak karena malas keluar kos untuk membeli sahur. LOL.
Bulan Ramadhan tahun ini, aku berada di Semarang (tahun 2003-2005 aku berada di Yogya). Seberapa pun cintaku kepada anak semata wayangku, aku tidak menyediakan makanan yang berlebihan untuk kita berbuka bersama. Eman-eman duitnya, euy. LOL. (Oh, ibu yang pelit, huh? LOL.) Oh well, whatever people say deh, LOL, aku berpikir bahwa berpuasa adalah satu ajaran agama agar orang mampu menahan nafsu; nafsu amarah, nafsu serakah, termasuk juga nafsu makan yang gila-gilaan itu setelah berbuka. Dan Angie selalu merupakan anak yang sangat pengertian.
PT56 23.19 240906
Ketika aku SD (di Bulustalan), setelah berbuka di rumah, aku dan kakak adik plus teman-teman tetangga menuju masjid terdekat untuk shalat Maghrib berjamaah. Setelah itu pulang, dengan meninggalkan sajadah dan mukena di masjid agar tidak kehabisan tempat nantinya. Di rumah, aku dan kakak adik makan.
Saat adzan untuk shalat Isya, aku dan adikku (perempuan) plus Mamie pergi ke masjid untuk shalat Isya dan tarawih bersama. Kakakku (laki-laki) pergi ke masjid bersama Papie, dan bergabung dengan laki-laki. Masa-masa yang kunikmati ketika kecil, karena bisa bermain bersama-sama dengan teman-teman.
Ketika aku SMP dan SMA (di Pusponjolo), berangkat ke masjid tidak lagi menjadi kebiasaanku sekeluarga karena letak masjid yang agak jauh (dibandingkan dengan ketika kami tinggal di Bulustalan). Satu kamar di rumah difungsikan sebagai musholla, tempat kami shalat bersama. Papie sebagai imam dan yang lain—Mamie, kakak, aku, dan adik-adik menjadi jamaah. Kadang-kadang kami sekeluarga berangkat untuk shalat Maghrib, Isya plus Tarawih ke kantor Papie yang sering menyelenggarakan buka puasa bersama dilanjutkan dengan shalat Maghrib, Isya, dan Tarawih berjamaah.
Setelah lulus SMA, aku pergi ke Yogya untuk melanjutkan kuliah di Sastra Inggris UGM, membuatku tak lagi mengikuti ‘ritual’ sepanjang bulan Ramadhan. Satu hal yang kupelajari ketika berpuasa jauh dari orang-orang tercinta itu adalah tak ada lagi persediaan makanan yang “gila-gilaan” ketika berbuka. (Oh well, aku tahu Papie Mamie menyediakan makanan yang berlebihan untuk berbuka itu karena cintanya kepada kami, anak-anaknya.) Aku jadi rajin memasak karena malas keluar kos untuk membeli sahur. LOL.
Bulan Ramadhan tahun ini, aku berada di Semarang (tahun 2003-2005 aku berada di Yogya). Seberapa pun cintaku kepada anak semata wayangku, aku tidak menyediakan makanan yang berlebihan untuk kita berbuka bersama. Eman-eman duitnya, euy. LOL. (Oh, ibu yang pelit, huh? LOL.) Oh well, whatever people say deh, LOL, aku berpikir bahwa berpuasa adalah satu ajaran agama agar orang mampu menahan nafsu; nafsu amarah, nafsu serakah, termasuk juga nafsu makan yang gila-gilaan itu setelah berbuka. Dan Angie selalu merupakan anak yang sangat pengertian.
PT56 23.19 240906
Ramadhan Month
(FYI Ramadhan month is the holiest month for Muslim where Muslim people do the obligatory fast for 30 days.)
My parents started to teach me to fast since I was in the first grade of elementary school, I was about seven years old at that time. As this was the first time—the first experience for me—they taught me to fast only until noon—the time for Dzuhur pray. I could have my breakfasting around 12.00. When I was in the second grade of elementary school, my parents taught me to lengthen the fast till Asar pray time. I could break my fast around 15.00. And when I reached the third grade of elementary school, I could fast just like adult people, until Maghrib pray time, around 17.45. Since I didn’t get my period yet, I didn’t have time to be ‘off’ to fast.
I finished reciting Alquran the first time (“khatam” is the Arabic word for this), when I was in the third grade of elementary school. And when I was in the fourth grade of elementary school, my father taught me to recite Alquran one chapter (in Arabic we call it as JUZ) one day during Ramadhan month. Therefore, in one Ramadhan month, I could finish (khatam) one Alquran that consists of 30 chapters (JUZ). As a good teacher, my late father did that too. He read three chapters one day that meant he could “khatam” Alquran three times during one Ramadhan month.
I remember during the fasting month, my parents prepared many kinds of food for breakfasting at the Maghrib pray time. Some people call it as “to take revenge”, LOL, after not eating and drinking anything for more than 12 hours a day, then at breakfasting time, we could eat anything we wanted. Delicious snacks were prepared by my mom at Maghrib time. After praying Maghrib and Isya plus Tarawih, then we ate a big meal.
Without his awareness, my late father taught my siblings and me something that was not really appropriate coz it was not really the essence of fasting, I assume (now). Why should we do something like ‘taking revenge” after fasting for more than 12 hours? “Eat as many as you can now that you can do it, before the time to fast comes again,” was a lesson I recognized. My late father was not the only one who thought so, of course. Abundant Muslim people do that too in Indonesia.
The time I started to learn how fasting was really like, and after breakfasting I didn’t “take revenge” was when I was in my undergraduate study. I was out of town, living all alone in a boarding house. The limited money I had as a student couldn’t make me buy as many kinds of food to eat for breakfasting. And I survived. LOL. When my late father knew about this, he said, “Oh poor you my dearest daughter.” But still he didn’t give me more pocket money per month. LOL.
Three years after I studied out of town, my father passed away. Since then on, no more extra food during Ramadhan month for breakfasting. My mother doesn’t work, she just gets some pension money every month from my later father’s office coz my father used to be a civil servant. She sometimes provides extra food for breakfasting, yes, but not as “crazily” as when my father was alive. LOL.
I taught Angie—my only daughter—to fast just like my parents did to me; since she was in the first grade of elementary school. She could fast for the whole day—from dusk till dawn—since she was in the third grade of elementary school. However, I free her from an obligation to recite Alquran one JUZ for one day. I suggested her to recite Alquran more than during the other months. I was not as fussy and strict as my late father though. LOL. I focus more on raising her to be a good person—not harm other people, not easily judge other people as bad people only coz they have different religions from us. I have found many people who recite Alquran everyday, pray five times a day, but at the same time harm other people too. My late father as the best example to me was the only one I have found so far in my life; that by being a good Muslim (read è pray five times a day, recite Alquran everyday, fast during Ramadhan month, pay zakat by the end of Ramadhan month, go pilgrimage to Mecca), he didn’t do harm to other people. I believe there are many other good Muslim people just like my father, only I don’t know then personally. And in my own experience, I know many other good people who are not Muslim, even those who are non-believers; one thing that my parents didn’t teach me when I was a kid.
Happy fasting for my blog readers who practice it during this holy Ramadhan month.
PT56 22.52 240906
My parents started to teach me to fast since I was in the first grade of elementary school, I was about seven years old at that time. As this was the first time—the first experience for me—they taught me to fast only until noon—the time for Dzuhur pray. I could have my breakfasting around 12.00. When I was in the second grade of elementary school, my parents taught me to lengthen the fast till Asar pray time. I could break my fast around 15.00. And when I reached the third grade of elementary school, I could fast just like adult people, until Maghrib pray time, around 17.45. Since I didn’t get my period yet, I didn’t have time to be ‘off’ to fast.
I finished reciting Alquran the first time (“khatam” is the Arabic word for this), when I was in the third grade of elementary school. And when I was in the fourth grade of elementary school, my father taught me to recite Alquran one chapter (in Arabic we call it as JUZ) one day during Ramadhan month. Therefore, in one Ramadhan month, I could finish (khatam) one Alquran that consists of 30 chapters (JUZ). As a good teacher, my late father did that too. He read three chapters one day that meant he could “khatam” Alquran three times during one Ramadhan month.
I remember during the fasting month, my parents prepared many kinds of food for breakfasting at the Maghrib pray time. Some people call it as “to take revenge”, LOL, after not eating and drinking anything for more than 12 hours a day, then at breakfasting time, we could eat anything we wanted. Delicious snacks were prepared by my mom at Maghrib time. After praying Maghrib and Isya plus Tarawih, then we ate a big meal.
Without his awareness, my late father taught my siblings and me something that was not really appropriate coz it was not really the essence of fasting, I assume (now). Why should we do something like ‘taking revenge” after fasting for more than 12 hours? “Eat as many as you can now that you can do it, before the time to fast comes again,” was a lesson I recognized. My late father was not the only one who thought so, of course. Abundant Muslim people do that too in Indonesia.
The time I started to learn how fasting was really like, and after breakfasting I didn’t “take revenge” was when I was in my undergraduate study. I was out of town, living all alone in a boarding house. The limited money I had as a student couldn’t make me buy as many kinds of food to eat for breakfasting. And I survived. LOL. When my late father knew about this, he said, “Oh poor you my dearest daughter.” But still he didn’t give me more pocket money per month. LOL.
Three years after I studied out of town, my father passed away. Since then on, no more extra food during Ramadhan month for breakfasting. My mother doesn’t work, she just gets some pension money every month from my later father’s office coz my father used to be a civil servant. She sometimes provides extra food for breakfasting, yes, but not as “crazily” as when my father was alive. LOL.
I taught Angie—my only daughter—to fast just like my parents did to me; since she was in the first grade of elementary school. She could fast for the whole day—from dusk till dawn—since she was in the third grade of elementary school. However, I free her from an obligation to recite Alquran one JUZ for one day. I suggested her to recite Alquran more than during the other months. I was not as fussy and strict as my late father though. LOL. I focus more on raising her to be a good person—not harm other people, not easily judge other people as bad people only coz they have different religions from us. I have found many people who recite Alquran everyday, pray five times a day, but at the same time harm other people too. My late father as the best example to me was the only one I have found so far in my life; that by being a good Muslim (read è pray five times a day, recite Alquran everyday, fast during Ramadhan month, pay zakat by the end of Ramadhan month, go pilgrimage to Mecca), he didn’t do harm to other people. I believe there are many other good Muslim people just like my father, only I don’t know then personally. And in my own experience, I know many other good people who are not Muslim, even those who are non-believers; one thing that my parents didn’t teach me when I was a kid.
Happy fasting for my blog readers who practice it during this holy Ramadhan month.
PT56 22.52 240906
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Picture
Here is the picture of Angie and me, at the same occasion in the previous post :)
wearing jeans and a t-shirt to attend a wedding party? why not? Here is the non-conformist Nana. LOL.
JDC 16.00 230906
Pictures
This picture was taken on September 17, 2006 at SWAGAYA photo studio, Citraland Mall, Semarang, after attending a wedding party of a friend, with Angie.
Nana si Judes
Yang menganugerahiku gelar "Nana si Judes" adalah orang yang kuberi loving nick "Guardian Angel". Betapa teganya dia ya??? :-((
Dan hari ini aku sadar, memang aku ini judes kok. LOL. Contohnya begini.
Beberapa jam lalu di sebuah salon yang terletak tak jauh dari tempat tinggalku. Setelah usai di-steamer (setelah creambath), sang kapster mencuci rambutku sebelum mengeringkannya. Di ruang yang sama, di tempat cuci rambut yang lain ada seorang customer dan kapster yang lain pula. Terjadi percakapan antara mereka berdua.
Customer: Mbak, kalo dari sini mau ke jalan Gajahmada, naik apa ya?"
Kapster: Hmmm ... naik becak saja mbak, gampang.
Customer: Masak sih boleh dari sini naik becak ke jalan Gajahmada?
Kapster: (bengong) ... oh? ga boleh yah naik becak dari sini?
Aku sempet terheran-heran dengan obrolan kedua orang tersebut. Masak naik becak saja tidak boleh? Sekarang sudah bukan jaman orde baru dimana ada beberapa ruas jalan (di Semarang) yang tidak boleh dilewati becak. Kalo pun di jalan Pemuda tidak boleh dilewati becak, kan ada jalan alternatif lain. Tetap sajalah jalan Gajahmada bisa dicapai naik becak.
Customer: Saya mau ambil laundry di jalan Gajahmada. Oh ya, mbak tahu ga Sri Ratu Department Store? Gini aja, mbak tahu nggak jalan kesana kalo dari sini?
Kapster: Oh, kalo ke Sri Ratu naik becak aja mbak.
Aku langsung ga tahan nafsu untuk tidak nimbrung, padahal biasanya aku orang yang paling cuek ngurusi masalah beginian. LOL. (Aku menyimpulkan bahwa kapster tersebut bukan berasal dari Semarang, sehingga dia tidak tahu jalan.) Aku langsung menoleh, dan (dengan berbaik hati) mencoba memberi saran.
Aku: Naik bis kota aja yang jurusan Pasar Johar. Kan lewat Sri Ratu tuh.
Customer: Hah? Naik bis kota? Memang ada ya bis kota?
GUBRAK!!!
Aku sempat bengong tidak tahu harus bilang apa. (Guardian angel-ku menggelariku si kuper, gadis pingitan, yang gak pernah pergi kemana-mana kecuali kantor, fitness center, dan warnet! Ternyata ada orang yang jauh lebih super kuper dariku! HAHA ...)
Customer: (lagi) Emang ada ya mbak bis kota di sini?
Setelah bengong beberapa saat, dan tidak habis pikir, akhirnya keluarlah kalimat judesku.
Aku: Emang tinggal di mana sih masak bis kota di Semarang aja ga tahu? Dari planet mana yak???
Customer: Loh, katanya ga ada lagi bis DAMRI di sini? (dengan lugu => lucu tur guoblok. LOL.)
Kapster: (dua-duanya yang berada di ruangan itu) Yah ... banyak dong mbak kalo cuma bis kota sih di sini.
Aku: Emang dari mana sih kok bis kota di Semarang aja ga tahu? (dengan agak mengurangi judesku. LOL.)
Customer: Ya ... sering sih saya ke luar kota.
Untung kapster yang mencuci rambutku sudah selesai melakukannya, aku langsung kabur ke ruangan lain, tempat mengeringkan rambut, sebelum judesku tambah-tambah lagi. LOL.
JDC 15.20 230906
Dan hari ini aku sadar, memang aku ini judes kok. LOL. Contohnya begini.
Beberapa jam lalu di sebuah salon yang terletak tak jauh dari tempat tinggalku. Setelah usai di-steamer (setelah creambath), sang kapster mencuci rambutku sebelum mengeringkannya. Di ruang yang sama, di tempat cuci rambut yang lain ada seorang customer dan kapster yang lain pula. Terjadi percakapan antara mereka berdua.
Customer: Mbak, kalo dari sini mau ke jalan Gajahmada, naik apa ya?"
Kapster: Hmmm ... naik becak saja mbak, gampang.
Customer: Masak sih boleh dari sini naik becak ke jalan Gajahmada?
Kapster: (bengong) ... oh? ga boleh yah naik becak dari sini?
Aku sempet terheran-heran dengan obrolan kedua orang tersebut. Masak naik becak saja tidak boleh? Sekarang sudah bukan jaman orde baru dimana ada beberapa ruas jalan (di Semarang) yang tidak boleh dilewati becak. Kalo pun di jalan Pemuda tidak boleh dilewati becak, kan ada jalan alternatif lain. Tetap sajalah jalan Gajahmada bisa dicapai naik becak.
Customer: Saya mau ambil laundry di jalan Gajahmada. Oh ya, mbak tahu ga Sri Ratu Department Store? Gini aja, mbak tahu nggak jalan kesana kalo dari sini?
Kapster: Oh, kalo ke Sri Ratu naik becak aja mbak.
Aku langsung ga tahan nafsu untuk tidak nimbrung, padahal biasanya aku orang yang paling cuek ngurusi masalah beginian. LOL. (Aku menyimpulkan bahwa kapster tersebut bukan berasal dari Semarang, sehingga dia tidak tahu jalan.) Aku langsung menoleh, dan (dengan berbaik hati) mencoba memberi saran.
Aku: Naik bis kota aja yang jurusan Pasar Johar. Kan lewat Sri Ratu tuh.
Customer: Hah? Naik bis kota? Memang ada ya bis kota?
GUBRAK!!!
Aku sempat bengong tidak tahu harus bilang apa. (Guardian angel-ku menggelariku si kuper, gadis pingitan, yang gak pernah pergi kemana-mana kecuali kantor, fitness center, dan warnet! Ternyata ada orang yang jauh lebih super kuper dariku! HAHA ...)
Customer: (lagi) Emang ada ya mbak bis kota di sini?
Setelah bengong beberapa saat, dan tidak habis pikir, akhirnya keluarlah kalimat judesku.
Aku: Emang tinggal di mana sih masak bis kota di Semarang aja ga tahu? Dari planet mana yak???
Customer: Loh, katanya ga ada lagi bis DAMRI di sini? (dengan lugu => lucu tur guoblok. LOL.)
Kapster: (dua-duanya yang berada di ruangan itu) Yah ... banyak dong mbak kalo cuma bis kota sih di sini.
Aku: Emang dari mana sih kok bis kota di Semarang aja ga tahu? (dengan agak mengurangi judesku. LOL.)
Customer: Ya ... sering sih saya ke luar kota.
Untung kapster yang mencuci rambutku sudah selesai melakukannya, aku langsung kabur ke ruangan lain, tempat mengeringkan rambut, sebelum judesku tambah-tambah lagi. LOL.
JDC 15.20 230906
Friday, September 22, 2006
Paper Examination 3
Officially, I have finished examining the students for their final assignment. From eight students I examined for three days--September 18, 19, 20, 2006--two students failed in their comprehensive tests. I forgot to tell you that in the final examination there are two kinds of tests the students have to face; first comprehensive test; and second the paper examination itself. It means those two students haven't got their paper examination yet coz they didn't pass the compre test.
However, my workmates and I were quite generous, LOL, coz we didn't directly fail them. We gave them the second chance to have the exam in this final examination season this semester. And this morning, I had an appointment to retest those two students.
The first student, she still didn't answer my questions satisfactorily. :( I was very sad, that's for sure. The other two examiners also said the same thing. My friend, M, as her first paper consultant even complained to me to see this particular student's passivity to prepare herself for the examination. M also complained about her lacking of struggle to write a better paper, using a very illogical (for me) reason, "I am already married, Ma'am. What do you expect from a married woman? I just want to finish the study soon." Of course it made me very unhappy to hear that. :((
The second student could answer my questions quite satisfactorily. I also could see her struggle to prepare herself for this second chance. However, when coming to her paper examination, I was very disappointed. I already could see that her paper far from being good--not to mention perfect. Since she was in my classes several times, I already knew her capability. Therefore, I wasn't shocked when reading her disorganized paper. She passed the comprehensive test, but not the paper exam. It means she has to take the exam again next semester. And so does the first student.
FBS UA 13.15 220906
September 21, 2006
Hari ini kegiatan menguji skripsi sudah usai. Syukurlah. So, setelah ngantar Angie ke sekolah, aku langsung ke Paradise Club, untuk fitness dan aerobics. I already miss it a lot after not doing it for three days in succession.
Aku fitness dulu selama kurang lebih 20 menit di lantai satu, baru kemudian naik ke lantai dua untuk menuju ke ruang erobik. Sesampai di sana, sudah lumayan rame. Dan tak lama kemudian instruktur segera memulai. Tiga hari tidak erobik sama sekali membuatku merasa enjoy banget waktu mengikuti gerakan instrukturnya. Kalo tiap hari, aku kadang-kadang jenuh juga mengikuti gerakannya, sehingga kadang kutinggal kabur ke ruang fitness untuk cycling maupun climbing.
Pulang dari PC, aku sampe rumah jam 9. Sebelum mandi, aku mencuci some clothes first. Selama tiga hari aku tidak mencuci baju kecuali seragam sekolah Angie yang akan dia pakai. Selesai mencuci dan mandi sekitar jam 10.30.
Masuk kamar, ngecek hape, ada 1 sms, and voila ... from the one I have been waiting, Abangku!!! LOL. Dikira aku udah nyampe kantor kali, kok aku sama sekali ga nyapa dia lewat yahoo, baik lewat personal message maupun lewat milis. Lah, aku masih di rumah, terisolasi dari dunia internet. LOL. Gimana mau nyapa??? (FYI, memang sengaja aku tidak sambungkan tuh modem di compie-ku ke telepon, agar aku tidak lepas kontrol, ngenet melulu, ngeblog melulu, main di milis melulu, chatting dengan Abang melulu, wakakakaka ...)
Setelah mengeringkan rambut (sehabis mandi keramas tadi), aku buru-buru ke kantor. Sesampe di kantor langsung buka mailbox-ku di yahoo, found lots of new messages in it, and recognized some from Abang yang ga sabaran nunggu aku online. Huahahaha ... But, akses super lelet nih di sini!!! :(( "Akses gratis kok minta cepet," komentar seorang rekan kerja. hehehehe ... Iya deh. LOL.
Today I have no teaching schedule. It is term break at the English course where I work as a part-timer. I will linger at the office then until 4pm later. Bukan mau sok jadi diligent employee, mumpung lagi ga ada sabetan aja, and nothing else to do, ya nikmatin aja nih teknologi internet di kantor. :)
FBS UA 210906
below are the pictures of the swimming pool of Paradise Club, taken in December 2018
As far as I remember the pool was closed down around 2018/2019. The cause was an accident in the pool where 2 / 3 students of a junior high school were drowning and the teacher didn't realize it.
After pandemic of covid 19 was over, the pool is still closed down.
29 November 2023
Narcissist Nana :-D
Sejak kapan yah aku suka difoto? Well, sejak duduk di bangku SMA kayaknya, ketika seorang teman sekelas suka bawa tustel kalo kita sedang acara bersama. Aku mulai pede untuk tersenyum di kamera juga sejak SMA ini. LOL.
Waktu SMP, aku punya pen pal yang dulu tinggal di Subang, namanya Ida Danakusuma. Trus, dia pindah ke Bandung, sebelum kemudian pindah ke Jakarta. Setelah dia kirim pic ke aku, kalang kabut aku ke photo studio untuk befoto ria. Entah sekarang dimana yah foto itu? Ida dan penpals yang lain yang membuatku once in a while nyamperin photo studio untuk berfoto ria. FYI, sejak SMP aku memang suka berkorespondensi. Hobby berlanjut sampai I married Angie's dad in 1990.
Waktu kuliah S1, aku punya teman sekos, mbak Nanni yang dari Madiun, yang kuliah di Fak. Hukum UGM angkt. 1984, yang berhobby sama denganku, difoto. Wakakakaka ... narcissist banget. hahahaha ... Pada saat tertentu, kita berdua ke photo studio. Digital camera belum ngetrend lah. Kebetulan aku dan teman-seman sekos kadang-kadang jalan-jalan ke Kaliurang atau ke Parangtritis sama-sama, tentu pake jepret-jepretan lah. (But kemana tuh foto-foto dulu itu??? :(( )
After the little Angie was born in 1991, hobby ini berkurang, jadi paling suka jepret Angie. Dan ketika aku ikutkan Angie ke modelling school, dengan tujuan dia lebih pede tatkala tampil di depan umum dibanding nyokapnya, tentu Angie lebih mengenal dunia berfoto ria dibanding aku waktu kecil. Juga lebih mampu mengendalikan demam panggung.
Hobby berfoto ria kembali lagi, when I was having relationship with that Californian. LOL. He really loved to get my pictures. LOL.
Sekarang, aku masih seorang narcissist. LOL. Not for my pictures though, but for my writing. Once in a while going to photo studio yah ... kali-kali aja teman-teman friendster-ku bosen ngeliat fotoku yang itu-itu aja. LOL. Jadi kadang-kadang perlu diberi yang baru. KALEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! hahahahaha ... Dan akhir-akhir ini aku mulai berusaha mengontrol emosi dan mengurangi judesku kalo sampe ada orang yang usil lewat friendster ini, such as sending message, "Hey pretty, have a hot date with me, will ya?" Resiko jadi selebriti? wakakakaka ...
FBS UA 17.43 200906
Waktu SMP, aku punya pen pal yang dulu tinggal di Subang, namanya Ida Danakusuma. Trus, dia pindah ke Bandung, sebelum kemudian pindah ke Jakarta. Setelah dia kirim pic ke aku, kalang kabut aku ke photo studio untuk befoto ria. Entah sekarang dimana yah foto itu? Ida dan penpals yang lain yang membuatku once in a while nyamperin photo studio untuk berfoto ria. FYI, sejak SMP aku memang suka berkorespondensi. Hobby berlanjut sampai I married Angie's dad in 1990.
Waktu kuliah S1, aku punya teman sekos, mbak Nanni yang dari Madiun, yang kuliah di Fak. Hukum UGM angkt. 1984, yang berhobby sama denganku, difoto. Wakakakaka ... narcissist banget. hahahaha ... Pada saat tertentu, kita berdua ke photo studio. Digital camera belum ngetrend lah. Kebetulan aku dan teman-seman sekos kadang-kadang jalan-jalan ke Kaliurang atau ke Parangtritis sama-sama, tentu pake jepret-jepretan lah. (But kemana tuh foto-foto dulu itu??? :(( )
After the little Angie was born in 1991, hobby ini berkurang, jadi paling suka jepret Angie. Dan ketika aku ikutkan Angie ke modelling school, dengan tujuan dia lebih pede tatkala tampil di depan umum dibanding nyokapnya, tentu Angie lebih mengenal dunia berfoto ria dibanding aku waktu kecil. Juga lebih mampu mengendalikan demam panggung.
Hobby berfoto ria kembali lagi, when I was having relationship with that Californian. LOL. He really loved to get my pictures. LOL.
Sekarang, aku masih seorang narcissist. LOL. Not for my pictures though, but for my writing. Once in a while going to photo studio yah ... kali-kali aja teman-teman friendster-ku bosen ngeliat fotoku yang itu-itu aja. LOL. Jadi kadang-kadang perlu diberi yang baru. KALEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! hahahahaha ... Dan akhir-akhir ini aku mulai berusaha mengontrol emosi dan mengurangi judesku kalo sampe ada orang yang usil lewat friendster ini, such as sending message, "Hey pretty, have a hot date with me, will ya?" Resiko jadi selebriti? wakakakaka ...
FBS UA 17.43 200906
A Rose for Emily
Now I want to write a little about "A Rose for Emily", a short story written by William Faulkner. Prof. Hugh Egan, one guest lecturer from Ithaca College when I was at UGM assigned us to read this short story to discuss in one class--Cultural Eras. Emily is from an aristocratic family that is still inclined to her aristocratic ancestors, forgetting the fact that she no longer lives in that era anymore. Her fussy father who has too high self-respect tends to show objection to any man trying to be intimate to his only daugher--Emily; judging them as too low for Emily. Consequently, she is still single after she reaches middle-aged time.
Faulkner is a guaranteed name for a qualified work. Of course in this short story, people can find many moral lessons. However, in this writing, I just want to focus on one thing--Emily ends up in her loneliness.
When her father is still alive, no single man has guts to be close to Emily coz the father will always be able to find the weakness of him. This made Emily a recluse, an aloof person, not sociable at all. Until one day, there is a big project done in the neighborhood. One worker--Homer--seemed to have a special relationship with Emily. The neighbors think that finally Emily will marry Homer. But, again, her aunts from her father show disagreement with that relationship. And one day, suddenly Homer disappears without news.
Many years later, after Emily passes away, and the neighbors forced to enter the house, they find her dead body in one bedroom upstairs, showing hints that next to it, there was another dead body--Homer's.
FBS UA 200906
Waiting
These last three days I have arrived at the office around 07.00am after taking Angie to school, due to the examination season. And since the automation of the lift and the door to enter the teachers' room made me not able to directly go to the tenth floor where my office is located, I've got to find a quite comfortable place to wait. :( The canteen situated at the back of the campus at last became my choice. It was still quiet, no student arrives yet, so I could do one very relieving thing to do for me--scribbling in my "portable" diary. :) Besides that, I also spent the time to read some papers I would examine.
Around 8am, I went upstairs now that the security guard was already ready to serve the lift "passengers", LOL, lecturers and students, and some other employees. If I were lucky I would find the door of the teachers' room already open, that means the secretary of the dean already came and open the door. It is coz only she that has got the automatic card to open the door. Shit, napa repot amat sih? If not, yeah ... I've got to wait for some other time sitting in the hall. I just talked to the janitor, "Well ... once in a while, I sit here, to feel like a student while waiting for the class or teachers." LOL.
It means that I had to waste one hour that in fact I could do to check my mailboxes and blogs, to greet my friends at the mailing lists, and to check the new comments in my blogs and the statistics that always makes me happy. LOL. (Knowing that I am quite popular with those people viewing my blogs. :)) "Dasar Narcissist!" Abang said. Hahahaha ...
After this hubbub of this paper examination is over, well, I will go to Paradise club again after taking Angie to school, and stop complaining about "my body that is not delicious" coz lacking of doing exercise. Hahahaha ... Have more time to write articles for my blogs, and type emails to my guardian angel. (FYI, he himself complained with that loving nick I gave him, "guardian angel". Ah, he just didn't know how relieving and heavenly it is for me to have a "free of charge therapist". LOL. LOL.) Ah well ... this is just coz of my romantic nature, I always want to dub a loving nick to my loved ones; such as "my lovely star' for Angie, "my soul mate when I was in Yogya" for Julie, "Lelaki Terindah" for my hunk. And both Angie and Julie also complained. LOL. And so did that hunk. LOL.
I have just finished examining a student. When she was in my classes, she wasn't really a smart one. However, she could answer my questions well enough. I really appreciated her effort to prepare herself well for this exam. Now, I am waiting for the time to examine the second student. And after that, the third student.
FBS UA 09.18 200906
Paper Examination 2
Masih tentang musim ujian skripsi di kampus. :)
Di luar ruang ujian, kulihat banyak mahasiswa yang tidak sedang/akan ujian duduk-duduk di kursi tunggu, maupun nongkrong di tangga. Kata mereka ketika kutanya ngapain di kampus meskipun tidak ujian, "Lah, berbagi rasa dengan yang sedang ujian dong Ma'am, agar mereka tidak begitu nervous kalo ada teman untuk berbagi rasa." cie ... setia kawan, begitu yah maksudnya. Baguslah. :)
Ada juga beberapa mahasiswa yang sudah married ditungguin suami atau pun istri mereka. Untuk memberi dukungan, spirit, dan sebangsanya itulah. :-D
Again, jadi ingat waktu aku ujian tesis 23 Desember tahun lalu. Kebetulan jadual ujianku bareng dengan Julie, my soul mate sewaktu kuliah di Yogya itu. :-D (I honored her with that term--'soul mate'--coz she always patiently listened to my grumbles as well as interesting experience I underwent during the study in Yogya. Sebenarnya tesisku udah kelar duluan dibanding Julie, dosen pembimbing udah approved duluan, tapi sebagai a good soul mate, aku nungguin Julie untuk daftar ujian tesisnya. :-D Dan, keinginanku terwujud, kita ujian tesis on the same day. Julie ujian jam 8-10, aku jam 10-12.
Waktu ujian itu, di sekitar ruang ujian, I didn't find anybody. I came around 09.30. When bu Ida (FYI, Julie and I had the same advisors, pak Bakdi Soemanto as the first advisor, and bu Ida Rohani as the second advisor) went out to go to the restroom, and found me sitting all alone in the hall, she asked me,
"Kok sepi?"
"Iya Ma'am, memang sepi," jawabku sambil ikut celingukan, ga ngerti maksud pertanyaan bu Ida.
"Lah, I heard that both of you and Julie are already married?" she wanted to know.
"Yes, we are already married. So...?"
"Where are your husbands? Why aren't they here to give you support?"
GUBRAK!!!! HAHAHAHA...
"Oh well, Ma'am, they are busy doing their affair in Semarang, and we are busy with our own affair here. Why should we bother them?" Very diplomatic of me, huh? Very tricky of me to hide what I needed to hide. LOL. LOL.
Some days after that, at pak Bakdi's house.
He asked us who prepared the snacks for the examiners on the examination. "We did it ourselves." I told him.
"Really independent, huh?" he teased us.
"Yes we are, Sir!" LOL.
FBS UA 180906
Di luar ruang ujian, kulihat banyak mahasiswa yang tidak sedang/akan ujian duduk-duduk di kursi tunggu, maupun nongkrong di tangga. Kata mereka ketika kutanya ngapain di kampus meskipun tidak ujian, "Lah, berbagi rasa dengan yang sedang ujian dong Ma'am, agar mereka tidak begitu nervous kalo ada teman untuk berbagi rasa." cie ... setia kawan, begitu yah maksudnya. Baguslah. :)
Ada juga beberapa mahasiswa yang sudah married ditungguin suami atau pun istri mereka. Untuk memberi dukungan, spirit, dan sebangsanya itulah. :-D
Again, jadi ingat waktu aku ujian tesis 23 Desember tahun lalu. Kebetulan jadual ujianku bareng dengan Julie, my soul mate sewaktu kuliah di Yogya itu. :-D (I honored her with that term--'soul mate'--coz she always patiently listened to my grumbles as well as interesting experience I underwent during the study in Yogya. Sebenarnya tesisku udah kelar duluan dibanding Julie, dosen pembimbing udah approved duluan, tapi sebagai a good soul mate, aku nungguin Julie untuk daftar ujian tesisnya. :-D Dan, keinginanku terwujud, kita ujian tesis on the same day. Julie ujian jam 8-10, aku jam 10-12.
Waktu ujian itu, di sekitar ruang ujian, I didn't find anybody. I came around 09.30. When bu Ida (FYI, Julie and I had the same advisors, pak Bakdi Soemanto as the first advisor, and bu Ida Rohani as the second advisor) went out to go to the restroom, and found me sitting all alone in the hall, she asked me,
"Kok sepi?"
"Iya Ma'am, memang sepi," jawabku sambil ikut celingukan, ga ngerti maksud pertanyaan bu Ida.
"Lah, I heard that both of you and Julie are already married?" she wanted to know.
"Yes, we are already married. So...?"
"Where are your husbands? Why aren't they here to give you support?"
GUBRAK!!!! HAHAHAHA...
"Oh well, Ma'am, they are busy doing their affair in Semarang, and we are busy with our own affair here. Why should we bother them?" Very diplomatic of me, huh? Very tricky of me to hide what I needed to hide. LOL. LOL.
Some days after that, at pak Bakdi's house.
He asked us who prepared the snacks for the examiners on the examination. "We did it ourselves." I told him.
"Really independent, huh?" he teased us.
"Yes we are, Sir!" LOL.
FBS UA 180906
Javanese Stomach :(
I examined three students today. It means I have got three boxes of snacks. I have eaten some of those (seemingly) delicious snacks, and drank two small cups of mineral water. They are supposed to make my stomach full enough, aren't they?
But toh, I feel hungry at the moment. Nih perut Jawa butuh diisi nasi!!!! Waaa ... :(( gak kebayang betapa repotnya diriku ini kalo harus hidup di suatu tempat yang sulit untuk mengkonsumsi nasi. Lidahku tidak mudah beradaptasi dengan makanan baru, plus nasi harus kukonsumsi setiap hari. Lengkaplah sudah penderitaanku kalau aku harus menginjakkan kaki di tanah asing yang sulit mendapatkan nasi. :((
Jadi ingat tahun 1977 yang lalu (yah ... sekitar seabad yang lalu deh :)) kan abadnya udah beda sekarang) waktu aku sekeluarga berkunjung ke tanah kelahiran Mamie Papie, Gorontalo. Adikku tidak bisa makan kalau tidak menemukan lauk tempe. Akibatnya dari Semarang, Mamie bawa kering tempe dalam jumlah yang lumayan banyak untuk dikonsumsi selama kita sekeluarga di sana. (FYI, tahun itu, tempe masihlah merupakan exclusive food for Javanese. Belum ditemukan tempe di Gorontalo.) Betapa repotnya orang yang tidak bisa beradaptasi. :(( (Jadi inget teori Herbert Spencer. hehehehe ...sampai segitunya. hahahaha ...)
Cerita lain lagi. Waktu aku duduk di bangku SMA, aku punya teman dekat yang tidak mau makan kalau tidak ada menu kepala ayam di atas meja. Nah lo!!! Sering aku diajaknya mampir ke warung untuk membeli kepala ayam sebelum pulang ke rumah, kalau ibunya ga sempat menyediakan menu itu di pagi hari sebelum dia berangkat ke sekolah. Si teman yang rada manja ini (waktu itu) kenal dapur aja enggak, tahunya cuma makan di ruang makan. That's all. Bukti otentik, LOL, waktu ada pelajaran memasak, aku yang ketiban sampur menyiapkan semua ubo rampenya, sekaligus memasak di sekolah.
Sekarang? Hohoho ... she belongs to that patriarchal culture yang menuntut perempuan harus memasak untuk suaminya. A good student, eh? LOL. ME??? Aku mau masuk dapur untuk memasak karena aku cinta seseorang yang akan kumasakkan itu, such as my only lovely star, Angie. Kalau hanya HARUS MEMASAK UNTUK SUAMI HANYA AGAR DILABELI SEBAGAI PEREMPUAN BAIK-BAIK, well ... well ... A BIG NO WAY. LOL.
"Jangan fanatik-fanatik dong Na kalau jadi feminist!" Abangku bersungut-sungut. (sampai keluar sungutnya tuh kepalanya. LOL.)
Oh well, perutku masih meronta minta diisi nasi nih sekarang. Ato, mungkin paling tidak arem-arem yang terbuat dari beras, berbentuk seperti lontong dan diisi, yah ... mungkin diisi daging, atau tahu, atau tempe. Mengapa di salah satu box snack itu tidak ada yang berisi arem-arem??? Atau tidak ada yang membawakan menu makan siang untukku???
Dasar ngelunjak nih dosen satu ini. Huahahahahaha ...
FBS UA 180906
But toh, I feel hungry at the moment. Nih perut Jawa butuh diisi nasi!!!! Waaa ... :(( gak kebayang betapa repotnya diriku ini kalo harus hidup di suatu tempat yang sulit untuk mengkonsumsi nasi. Lidahku tidak mudah beradaptasi dengan makanan baru, plus nasi harus kukonsumsi setiap hari. Lengkaplah sudah penderitaanku kalau aku harus menginjakkan kaki di tanah asing yang sulit mendapatkan nasi. :((
Jadi ingat tahun 1977 yang lalu (yah ... sekitar seabad yang lalu deh :)) kan abadnya udah beda sekarang) waktu aku sekeluarga berkunjung ke tanah kelahiran Mamie Papie, Gorontalo. Adikku tidak bisa makan kalau tidak menemukan lauk tempe. Akibatnya dari Semarang, Mamie bawa kering tempe dalam jumlah yang lumayan banyak untuk dikonsumsi selama kita sekeluarga di sana. (FYI, tahun itu, tempe masihlah merupakan exclusive food for Javanese. Belum ditemukan tempe di Gorontalo.) Betapa repotnya orang yang tidak bisa beradaptasi. :(( (Jadi inget teori Herbert Spencer. hehehehe ...sampai segitunya. hahahaha ...)
Cerita lain lagi. Waktu aku duduk di bangku SMA, aku punya teman dekat yang tidak mau makan kalau tidak ada menu kepala ayam di atas meja. Nah lo!!! Sering aku diajaknya mampir ke warung untuk membeli kepala ayam sebelum pulang ke rumah, kalau ibunya ga sempat menyediakan menu itu di pagi hari sebelum dia berangkat ke sekolah. Si teman yang rada manja ini (waktu itu) kenal dapur aja enggak, tahunya cuma makan di ruang makan. That's all. Bukti otentik, LOL, waktu ada pelajaran memasak, aku yang ketiban sampur menyiapkan semua ubo rampenya, sekaligus memasak di sekolah.
Sekarang? Hohoho ... she belongs to that patriarchal culture yang menuntut perempuan harus memasak untuk suaminya. A good student, eh? LOL. ME??? Aku mau masuk dapur untuk memasak karena aku cinta seseorang yang akan kumasakkan itu, such as my only lovely star, Angie. Kalau hanya HARUS MEMASAK UNTUK SUAMI HANYA AGAR DILABELI SEBAGAI PEREMPUAN BAIK-BAIK, well ... well ... A BIG NO WAY. LOL.
"Jangan fanatik-fanatik dong Na kalau jadi feminist!" Abangku bersungut-sungut. (sampai keluar sungutnya tuh kepalanya. LOL.)
Oh well, perutku masih meronta minta diisi nasi nih sekarang. Ato, mungkin paling tidak arem-arem yang terbuat dari beras, berbentuk seperti lontong dan diisi, yah ... mungkin diisi daging, atau tahu, atau tempe. Mengapa di salah satu box snack itu tidak ada yang berisi arem-arem??? Atau tidak ada yang membawakan menu makan siang untukku???
Dasar ngelunjak nih dosen satu ini. Huahahahahaha ...
FBS UA 180906
My Student
I just finished examining a student She is under my consultation, and for her research, she used HARRY POTTER serial novels, using READER RESPONSE THEORY. And for your information, in my workplace, she is the first student who used this theory (ketinggalan kereta, huh? LOL.)
Giving consultation to students doing researches for their skripsi is always exciting for me. And knowing that this student was willing to do any suggestion I gave her, I became more enthusiastic to offer help, such as to distribute questionnaires online (she is a bit internet illiterate LOL), to some mailing lists I join; to spend much time to discuss things with her, etc. She sometimes a bit complained how fussy I was to her (I could see that LOL).
But today, she got the good fruit of it. She passed satisfactorily. She got an A. Wow, as the first advisor, I was happy too.
It reminded me of my own thesis examination last December 23, 2005. I saw my two advisor's faces so radiant when the main examiner said, "Well, Ms. Nana, from our discussion, you passed the examination with A." Both pak Bakdi and bu Ida must have been very happy and satisfied too at that time, not only me. :)
For those who have helped answering questionnaires, on behalf of that student of mine, I thank you so much.
FBS UA 180906
Giving consultation to students doing researches for their skripsi is always exciting for me. And knowing that this student was willing to do any suggestion I gave her, I became more enthusiastic to offer help, such as to distribute questionnaires online (she is a bit internet illiterate LOL), to some mailing lists I join; to spend much time to discuss things with her, etc. She sometimes a bit complained how fussy I was to her (I could see that LOL).
But today, she got the good fruit of it. She passed satisfactorily. She got an A. Wow, as the first advisor, I was happy too.
It reminded me of my own thesis examination last December 23, 2005. I saw my two advisor's faces so radiant when the main examiner said, "Well, Ms. Nana, from our discussion, you passed the examination with A." Both pak Bakdi and bu Ida must have been very happy and satisfied too at that time, not only me. :)
For those who have helped answering questionnaires, on behalf of that student of mine, I thank you so much.
FBS UA 180906
Paper Examination 1
Di kampus sedang musim ujian skripsi. Well, di tempat kerjaku memang ada jadual khusus untuk ujian skripsi, so tidak dilakukan setiap saat seorang mahasiswa selesai menulis skripsi (untuk S1) maupun paper (untuk D3). Satu semester ada dua kali jadual untuk ujian skripsi/paper.
Karena sedang 'musim ujian skripsi/paper', ada beberapa hal sebagai resikonya.
1. Aku harus meluangkan waktu yang lumayan banyak untuk membaca skripsi maupun paper yang akan kuuji, terutama para mahasiswa yang bukan berada under my consultation.
2. Konsekuensinya waktuku berkurang untuk nongkrong di depan komputer untuk 'express myself' well. :(
3. Waktuku ke fitness center juga berkurang karena aku harus sudah sampe di kampus jam 8.
4. Banyak makanan yang bakal kuterima karena setiap mahasiswa yang sedang diuji 'wajib' membawa kudapan buat dosen penguji.
5. Konsekuensi dari nomor 3 dan 4, berat badanku bisa nambah berapa kilogram nih, kalo aku ga mampu menahan kerakusanku melihat snacks dan pastry maupun meals yang lezat-lezat. Ngemil tambah dan olah raga berkurang??? Nah lo!!!
6. Mood-ku bisa up and down dengan cepat ketika menguji. Up => kalo mahasiswa mampu menjawab pertanyaan dengan bagus. Ikutan senang menghadapi a smart student. Down => kalo menghadapi mahasiswa yang menjawab pertanyaan A dengan jawaban Z, ato jawaban yang ngalor ngidul ga fokus, dan ga ada isinya. :(
7. Waktu berkurang (pula) untuk ngecek email dan blog karena harus sering berada di ruang ujian.
8. Banyak mahasiswa berdatangan ke rumah, membawa ini itu (LOL) agar aku tidak memberi pertanyaan yang killing. Well, for my students who will take paper exam next time with me, IT WILL NOT WORK ON ME. Ok? LOL.
Btw, tadi aku barusan nguji dua mahasiswa. Yang satu, wow ... impressive. She could answer my questions well. Yang kedua, hmm ..., terpaksa dia harus mengulang ujian next week. :(( Ikut berduka cita deh.
Kali ini, I am waiting for the time to examine the third student for today. The risk? Oh well ... no time to have a chat with my only Abang deh. :(
"We still have lots of time in the future, yah Bang?" :)
Karena sedang 'musim ujian skripsi/paper', ada beberapa hal sebagai resikonya.
1. Aku harus meluangkan waktu yang lumayan banyak untuk membaca skripsi maupun paper yang akan kuuji, terutama para mahasiswa yang bukan berada under my consultation.
2. Konsekuensinya waktuku berkurang untuk nongkrong di depan komputer untuk 'express myself' well. :(
3. Waktuku ke fitness center juga berkurang karena aku harus sudah sampe di kampus jam 8.
4. Banyak makanan yang bakal kuterima karena setiap mahasiswa yang sedang diuji 'wajib' membawa kudapan buat dosen penguji.
5. Konsekuensi dari nomor 3 dan 4, berat badanku bisa nambah berapa kilogram nih, kalo aku ga mampu menahan kerakusanku melihat snacks dan pastry maupun meals yang lezat-lezat. Ngemil tambah dan olah raga berkurang??? Nah lo!!!
6. Mood-ku bisa up and down dengan cepat ketika menguji. Up => kalo mahasiswa mampu menjawab pertanyaan dengan bagus. Ikutan senang menghadapi a smart student. Down => kalo menghadapi mahasiswa yang menjawab pertanyaan A dengan jawaban Z, ato jawaban yang ngalor ngidul ga fokus, dan ga ada isinya. :(
7. Waktu berkurang (pula) untuk ngecek email dan blog karena harus sering berada di ruang ujian.
8. Banyak mahasiswa berdatangan ke rumah, membawa ini itu (LOL) agar aku tidak memberi pertanyaan yang killing. Well, for my students who will take paper exam next time with me, IT WILL NOT WORK ON ME. Ok? LOL.
Btw, tadi aku barusan nguji dua mahasiswa. Yang satu, wow ... impressive. She could answer my questions well. Yang kedua, hmm ..., terpaksa dia harus mengulang ujian next week. :(( Ikut berduka cita deh.
Kali ini, I am waiting for the time to examine the third student for today. The risk? Oh well ... no time to have a chat with my only Abang deh. :(
"We still have lots of time in the future, yah Bang?" :)
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Recently
Recently I seldom have time to check my blog at blog.co.uk, coz the error that happens now and again. I cannot log in properly. :( At this time, I miss some blog friends of mine there, especially Phillip and Kiki, and some others.
I also often cannot log in properly at blogspot so that I have to post in my friendster blog, coz luckily the compie at the office can access ie properly. And I find out that I need to write more and more in my blog, to express myself openly. I become more confident to open myself, huh? Abangku said, "If it is good for you Nana, do it."
And now, I am already hungry, and feel so dirty that I need to take a shower soon. I left home at 06.50, and now, more than 12 hours after that, I haven't gone home yet. You can imagine how I really want to take a shower now. Moreover at the office, the room is very hot. :((
I must go home now.
I feel a bit lonely here without my only Abang accompanying me online. :)
JDC 19.27 200906
I also often cannot log in properly at blogspot so that I have to post in my friendster blog, coz luckily the compie at the office can access ie properly. And I find out that I need to write more and more in my blog, to express myself openly. I become more confident to open myself, huh? Abangku said, "If it is good for you Nana, do it."
And now, I am already hungry, and feel so dirty that I need to take a shower soon. I left home at 06.50, and now, more than 12 hours after that, I haven't gone home yet. You can imagine how I really want to take a shower now. Moreover at the office, the room is very hot. :((
I must go home now.
I feel a bit lonely here without my only Abang accompanying me online. :)
JDC 19.27 200906
Monday, September 18, 2006
My experience with some students
In the teachers’ room. September 14, 2006
Some days ago while I was discussing something with a workmate of mine a student came to us, and then looked at me. I asked him, “Which one of us do you want to talk to?”
“You, Ms. Nana.” He answered.
“Oh, okay, what is it about?” I asked him again.
“About you Ma’am.”
“About me? What do you want to talk about me?” I inquired.
“Hmm … I mean, I want to ask you something.” He corrected himself.
“Ok. Shoot!”
I want to ask you about my score, Ma’am. Is that right that I got that score?”
“Oh, wait a minute. Which class did you belong to?” I wondered.
“I attended your English for Informatics class.” He responded.
That response reminded me of his attendance in that class of mine. “Oh yeah, I remember now. So, what score did you get?”
“E.”
“Fine. So what score did you expect?”
“Could you change it to be a better score?” he begged.
I felt sick with that illogical expectation.
“Hmm … don’t forget that you only attended the class two or three times for the whole semester. You didn’t do the assignment I gave the whole students. And let me tell you that you are the only student who didn’t do it. For the mid-test you only got 47. And for your final test, you got a similar score. So, what score did you expect from it?” I scorned him.
I saw his facial expression become bitter. But, I didn’t expect that he still had guts to continue pleading, or the more suitable term is he wanted to scorn me back.
“Well, Ma’am, according to the schedule the class started at 7pm. I often already arrived in the classroom but you didn’t show up. So I left. Is that my mistake then if I didn’t attend the class? Besides as a student, I also work.”
Who did he think he was facing, huh? I felt annoyed.
“And don’t you forget you are not the only student who work. And you must know although you work, you still have full obligation to follow the regulations as students. For the schedule, I already told your classmates that I couldn’t make it at 7, so I postponed it till 7.30. And no one complained. If you wanted to complain, you came to me the first place to compromise with me about it. You were the only one who considered it as a problem. Not now, after the semester is over.”
He forced himself to smile, but very bitterly. Still, he said, “Oh well, so, I have to take this subject again next semester. For the third time!”
HELLO????? Where did that student put his brain? His ass??? LOL.
PT56 20.27 170906
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In a classroom, the first day of the short semester some weeks ago.
“Good afternoon students.” I greeted those 10 students sitting in front of me.
“Good afternoon Ma’am,” they replied.
“How many of you take this subject for the
first time? And how many of you take this subject for the second time to better your previous score?”
And I found out that nine of them took the subject—English for Business—for the second time.
“Ok then. What score did you get before this?” I inquired.
“C.” the nine students answered simultaneously.
“Oh, fine. So, the minimal score you want to get in this short semester is B, then.” I said.
“Well, Ma’am, we want to get A of course.” some of them confidently said so.
“I said minimal B, so it means you can get A, right?” I smiled.
“Yes Ma’am.” They responded enthusiastically. “Will you help us Ma’am?” they pleaded hopefully.
“No, I will not help you. You’ve got to help yourself.” In an instant their facial expression looked disappointed.
“Well, if you really want to get an A …” I stopped in the middle. I saw their face look hopeful again. LOL. (What a naughty teacher I am. LOL.) I continued, “It means you’ve got to work hard to make it come true.”
“Aahhhh ….” They screamed disappointedly.
Spoiled students of mine …. Huh ….
PT56 20.39 170906
Thursday, September 14, 2006
While waiting ...
Di warnet, setelah kirim email dan ngepost artikel di blog buat Angie, yang kuketik tadi pagi.
Tadi di kantor sebenarnya pengen nulis sesuatu juga di blog, tapi akses komputer di kantor, alamak......... leletnya :(( untuk buka satu email aja, aku perlu turun dulu ke lantai 4, to take something there, trus balik lagi ke lantai 10, baru buka tuh email. Itu pun kalo ga kena error. :((
Namun saat ini aku sudah lupa apa sih yang tadi ingin kuketik di blog waktu aku berada di kantor??? LOL. Oh dear God, memang sudah menjadi pelupa aku ini.
So??? what will I write here? Entahlah. LOL.
Btw, I didn't go to PC this morning for aerobics or fitness coz I wanted to finish doing the assignment I got from my office. (udah molor berapa hari tuh??? gara-gara I spoiled myself to write emails for my guardian angel. Lagian kalo ngetik ngerjain tugas aku cepet diserang kantuk. Sedangkan kalo ngetik email buatnya, ngantukku ilang. LOL. Ngetik email buatnya menjadi semacam obat untuk peredam kantuk, well ... ato sejenis kopi begitu deh. hahahaha ...
Ups ... nature calls!!! I will go to the restroom. LOL.
JDC 13.24 140906
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
For My Guardian Angel
thanks for coming into my life
and making everything so beautiful
and easing the burden in my shoulder
and being by my side when I need someone to talk to
and for offering your shoulder when I need to cry
and for lending me your ears to listen to my grumbles
and for lending me your eyes to read what I write
most of all
thank you for finding me
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Romantic of me :)
Dearest my only AA,
When I realized that my addiction to that hunk was cured, I didn't know where my passionate love for him was gone. I didn't find him anymore on my mind, in my heart, moreover in the blood flowing all over my body (I used to say "engkau ada dalam darah yang mengalir di sekujur tubuhku" => gombal banget yah? LOL. But when I wrote it, I meant it.) Rasanya memang begitulah.
He was stuck on my eyes so I saw him for the first time when I opened my eyes in the morning; he was also the last one I saw before I closed my eyes in the night. He was on my mind so that whenever and wherever I found something interesting, I always related it to him. He was on my tongue coz anytime I mentioned his name when I felt like I wanted to talk to someone. He was in the blood flowing all over my body coz I could feel his touch all over my body anytime I wanted it. Wow ... LOL.
And when I realized that he was no longer a part of my life (not always on my eyes, mind, tongue, ad blood anymore) I asked myself whether I really fell in love with him. :( What is love anyway? His position on my mind has been peacefully replaced by someone else => YOU.
Have I fallen in love with you?
When relating it to my relationship with that Californian, I draw a conclusion of what is called love. When I think I hurt the one I love, I myselffeel hurt. (Once I tried to hurt him coz I felt hurt by my dream about him, I hurt myself even more. :( I experienced the same thing to that hunk. When I felt I hurt him unconciously, I really felt hurt too.
I didn't love A's dad coz I realized when I did hurt him, I didn't regret it, I even felt satisfied. => cruel of me, huh?
(is a Leonese revengeful, do you think?)
CONCLUSION: Love is when you feel hurt coz the one you love is hurt (coz of something you do to him/her).
LL 15.18 090906
When I realized that my addiction to that hunk was cured, I didn't know where my passionate love for him was gone. I didn't find him anymore on my mind, in my heart, moreover in the blood flowing all over my body (I used to say "engkau ada dalam darah yang mengalir di sekujur tubuhku" => gombal banget yah? LOL. But when I wrote it, I meant it.) Rasanya memang begitulah.
He was stuck on my eyes so I saw him for the first time when I opened my eyes in the morning; he was also the last one I saw before I closed my eyes in the night. He was on my mind so that whenever and wherever I found something interesting, I always related it to him. He was on my tongue coz anytime I mentioned his name when I felt like I wanted to talk to someone. He was in the blood flowing all over my body coz I could feel his touch all over my body anytime I wanted it. Wow ... LOL.
And when I realized that he was no longer a part of my life (not always on my eyes, mind, tongue, ad blood anymore) I asked myself whether I really fell in love with him. :( What is love anyway? His position on my mind has been peacefully replaced by someone else => YOU.
Have I fallen in love with you?
When relating it to my relationship with that Californian, I draw a conclusion of what is called love. When I think I hurt the one I love, I myselffeel hurt. (Once I tried to hurt him coz I felt hurt by my dream about him, I hurt myself even more. :( I experienced the same thing to that hunk. When I felt I hurt him unconciously, I really felt hurt too.
I didn't love A's dad coz I realized when I did hurt him, I didn't regret it, I even felt satisfied. => cruel of me, huh?
(is a Leonese revengeful, do you think?)
CONCLUSION: Love is when you feel hurt coz the one you love is hurt (coz of something you do to him/her).
LL 15.18 090906
My Life
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| my pic taken in 2007 |
Aku menandai adanya siklus dua tahunan dalam hidupku ini, terutama dimulai tahun 1986.
1986
Aku lulus SMA, dan pergi ke Yogya untuk melanjutkan studi. Aku kuliah di Fakultas Sastra Inggris UGM. Suatu perubahan yang cukup drastis mengingat aku pindah ke kota lain, setelah semenjak lahir aku tinggal di kota Semarang.
1988
I met Angie's dad. Keinginan untuk memiliki seseorang yang kusebut sebagai 'pacar' membuatku menerima proposalnya barangkali. LOL. What did I know about 'love' at such a young age? LOL. Moreover such a naive Nana. LOL.
Kita sepakat jalan bareng meskipun kita tinggal di dua kota berbeda, terletak sekitar 120km. Belum ada teknologi telepon di kosku, apalagi handphone. So? Surat airmail lah yang membuat kita tetap berkomunikasi, karena aku pulang ke Semarang hanya sebulan sekali. Bagaimana kita bisa benar-benar saling mengenal karakter masing-masing? LOL. (Well, FYI, pertanyaan ini baru muncul akhir-akhir ini. Tidak terpikirkan olehku pada waktu itu.)
1990
I married him. How? Why? Kok? LOL.
Ketularan dua teman yang lumayan dekat denganku ketika masih SMP dan SMA barangkali. LOL. Dan waktu itu, mungkin aku berpikir, menikah kapan pun sama aja, toh, I would get married eventually. Why him? Yah ... waktu itu he was my boyfriend. Kalo belum kenal-kenal amat dengan karakternya, toh later I would know him. N A I V E kan? LOL. My marrying him made me take 2 years off from my study.
In 1991, Angie was born. I took one year before going back to resume my study. Satu tahun lumayan lah untuk membangun emotional ties between me and Angie (yang ternyata sampai sekarang, she is my only kid. :) )
1992
I was back to continue my study. I spent 10 days in Yogya, 4 days in Semarang. My lovely cute understanding Angie ... She was very nice. Bagaimana dia bisa understanding begitu yah di usia yang baru 1 tahun? :)) I graduated in 1993.
1994
I started my teaching profession at Primagama.
1996
Bored with the atmosphere at Primagama, I applied for a job at LIA. New atmosphere, not as boring as at Primagama. For me. :)
1998
I found a new challenge for myself, by working as (still) an English teacher at STIBA AKI Semarang.
2000
I divorced Angie's dad after struggling to survive in the bitter marriage for some years. :(
2002
I remarried Angie's dad. An (un)happy anti-climax???
In the same year, I resumed my study at American Studies Graduate Program UGM. Two new things happened simultaneously in 2002. Perhaps my resuming study brought more changes in my life. As once I said to an ex high school friend about what kind of change happened to me after graduating my study, "This study made me feel like reborn. A new Nana has been born." (read => a feminist and a secular, but I claim I became more humane)
2004
(at the beginning of the year) My being feminist and secular made me change my point of view of my (second) marriage to the same person.
(in the middle of the year) Someone I dubbed as a hunk came into my life. He made my life more colorful, more with ups and downs. He reminded me of my "nature" as a romantic lover. 😀
2006
(at the beginning of the year) I got my graduation day from my Master's Degree. (what a waste of time!!! LOL.
(in the middle of the year) Someone came to take the place of that hunk in my heart.
Where will my life lead to after this???
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Falling in Love?
Before 1999
I thought I loved that man that society knew as my hubby. I didn’t want him to leave me though he treated me bad. I chose to shed blood tears in that marriage rather than to be separated from him. I thought the reason was I loved him.
After May 10, 1999
Easily feeling that I loved that man disappeared after I found someone else who made me feel secure to talk about me; something that I couldn’t do with people around me. Two main reasons: first, he was not from a place easily reachable by me, so I thought that my embarrassing experience was safe with him. Why did I consider it embarrassing while in fact I was treated bad? I always gave false expression to people around me that I was okay, that I was happy to marry a man coz he was my own choice; while in fact inside my heart I was seriously bleeding. And I had no one to confide in. Second reason; he made me feel like I was reborn, he could make me see the real potential in me—something that nobody else ever did to me. The man living with me at that time even made me feel I was worthless to live and to love.
February 29 2000
I divorced that man who made me feel worthless.
March 2001
The man whom I considered as my savior was gone, without news, made me broken into pieces. I almost lost my confidence again after he successfully boosted it in me in 1999.
March 28, 2002
I remarried that man after he begged me on his knees to forgive him for two years. I thought remarrying him would make my lovely star happy. (I was still very naive, yes!)
The early 2004
I realized I made a mistake to remarry him. Things didn’t run like what I expected.
August 21, 2004
Someone new—a hunk, I dubbed him—came into my life and started to color it ever since. On the contrary from the one who made me feel worthless (it was stupid of me then to remarry him :)), this hunk always made me feel adorable.
I thought I fell in love with him. I sent him lots of emails coz it made me good to express myself. And he loved to read them. He loved the feeling that I showed to him probably: that he was a hunk, that he was the most gorgeous guy; that I adored him.
I wrote him lots of love poems coz I needed to expose my being romantic.
Why him? Why not to anybody else? Coz he was the only one who could evoke that special feeling in me—that I am adorable.
August 12, 2006
Someone new came again into my life. I dubbed him as the combination of the two men that came to my life before. He fulfilled my lonely days coz of missing that hunk.
And instantly I realized my passionate love for that hunk was gone.
Goodness!!! It made me wonder now whether I really have ever experienced to fall in love with someone? Or was it only to fulfill my want to be a romantic lover?
Have I really ever fallen in love in my life? Or I just love myself?
PT56 13.33 020906
I thought I loved that man that society knew as my hubby. I didn’t want him to leave me though he treated me bad. I chose to shed blood tears in that marriage rather than to be separated from him. I thought the reason was I loved him.
After May 10, 1999
Easily feeling that I loved that man disappeared after I found someone else who made me feel secure to talk about me; something that I couldn’t do with people around me. Two main reasons: first, he was not from a place easily reachable by me, so I thought that my embarrassing experience was safe with him. Why did I consider it embarrassing while in fact I was treated bad? I always gave false expression to people around me that I was okay, that I was happy to marry a man coz he was my own choice; while in fact inside my heart I was seriously bleeding. And I had no one to confide in. Second reason; he made me feel like I was reborn, he could make me see the real potential in me—something that nobody else ever did to me. The man living with me at that time even made me feel I was worthless to live and to love.
February 29 2000
I divorced that man who made me feel worthless.
March 2001
The man whom I considered as my savior was gone, without news, made me broken into pieces. I almost lost my confidence again after he successfully boosted it in me in 1999.
March 28, 2002
I remarried that man after he begged me on his knees to forgive him for two years. I thought remarrying him would make my lovely star happy. (I was still very naive, yes!)
The early 2004
I realized I made a mistake to remarry him. Things didn’t run like what I expected.
August 21, 2004
Someone new—a hunk, I dubbed him—came into my life and started to color it ever since. On the contrary from the one who made me feel worthless (it was stupid of me then to remarry him :)), this hunk always made me feel adorable.
I thought I fell in love with him. I sent him lots of emails coz it made me good to express myself. And he loved to read them. He loved the feeling that I showed to him probably: that he was a hunk, that he was the most gorgeous guy; that I adored him.
I wrote him lots of love poems coz I needed to expose my being romantic.
Why him? Why not to anybody else? Coz he was the only one who could evoke that special feeling in me—that I am adorable.
August 12, 2006
Someone new came again into my life. I dubbed him as the combination of the two men that came to my life before. He fulfilled my lonely days coz of missing that hunk.
And instantly I realized my passionate love for that hunk was gone.
Goodness!!! It made me wonder now whether I really have ever experienced to fall in love with someone? Or was it only to fulfill my want to be a romantic lover?
Have I really ever fallen in love in my life? Or I just love myself?
PT56 13.33 020906
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